I have snatched the questions from Tyger's blog as they seem to cover all the main bases :)
1) What have you been up to?
Work, mostly. And slowly, slowly filling out my Winter Session application. And a fair amount of church-stuff.
2) How goes home-age, and school-age, and other assorted '-ages'?
Home-age is pretty fantastic, if I do say so myself. I introduced weekly family check-ins after Naramata and I think it's been working wonders for our family dynamics. The general feeling in the house is just generally less stressful- ie: I don't feel like people are harbouring stress and resentment and are likely to explode/ have their own quiet breakdown, because people are actually talking about their feelings. Hooray!
School-age is non-existent, which is something I miss sometimes when I really think about it. But I almost never think about it.
Work-age is... a lot of things. First of all, the last two weeks have just been a lot in general- from learning how to get around the building (which has 8 floors and it takes three elevators to get from ground level to the top. It's built laterally up a hill, if that helps you make sense of this. It actually reminds me somewhat of Hogwarts, in that there are some stairwells that only go up and some that only go down and only one elevator that goes to the fourth floor and secret codes to get in and out of places and a giant courtyard-greenhouse thing in the centre of it all. Haha, I had this great time on the second day, trying to get from the cafeteria on the first floor back to the rec offices on the fifth. I tried taking the stairs, and actually thought I was trapped because the stairwell ended at an elevator that only went to parking and the doors to all the previous floors appeared to be locked [little did I know that I needed to press the little 'door release' button]. So I had to go back down to level one, take the elevator up to level three, walk to a stairwell I thought I could take, use a code to get into said stairwell, find out that the stairs in that stairwell only went down, walk around to another elevator which finally got me back to level 5 *huge tangent-ed*), to actually knowing what my job entails. And there has been a lot of getting used to what it's like to interact with dementia patients- it is surprisingly stressful to try and figure out how to respond to someone who answers a question like 'would you like to come to organ music?' with something that has nothing to do with the present situation, or to try and calm someone whose distress has its source in their own world, a world that I have no access to. Basically, long-term care is an environment that is totally different from anywhere I've spent any significant amount of time before and I'm learning loads.
And it turns out that I'm not so much 'assisting' the Rec therapists as running/ supporting all the programs on a particular unit, and helping out with centre-wide programming. So it's a bigger job than I thought, but also more self-directed, which I'm rather thankful for. Especially today, with it being my first day of not-shadowing others and I think I would have died of pressure if there was someone else there watching me who would know all the things I was doing wrong. From all I've heard from my co-workers, it's very much a learn-as-you-go type of deal, and I'm just glad that there's no one there to witness me learning by trial and error.
I'm trying not to think of TUXIS-age because I realise that I'm ready to not have it in my life anymore. It's not that TUXIS is bad, it's just that it's something I realise I've grown away from. I don't want to debate anymore, I don't want to be around tuxis-drama anymore, I don't want to feel this oppressive obligation to an organisation that does nothing for me at this point in my life. I just feel like there is all this stuff that I MUST do because I have a front bench position, but that, for the sake of my own sanity, I must not do. More than anything else, I really don't want to go to session this year because even being at conferences has been difficult for me- seeing that I have pretty much nothing in common with other tuxins, and in fact finding some of my core values in conflict with the way I see tuxis operating (not in a self-righteous way. Just in a 'I know that this matters to me more than it matters to you and I don't want to ask you to change anything just because I don't like it- but I don't think I can be around it anymore')- and I fear that 6 intensive days where heirarchy, patriarchal attitudes, unintentional exculsion and conservative religious and political views are quite prevalent will make me feel incredibly isolated as a fiercely egalitarian, gay, feminist, community-oriented, 'gaia-worshipping-wiccan-buddhist-christian' far-leftist . It also means that I likely won't be able to go to Regina for the third Christmas in a row. It's been so, so long since I've seen my extended family and the thought of spending even more time away hurts me a lot, and probably would hurt my grandparents even more.
3) What colour socks are you wearing right now?
Blue. They have sheepsies on them :)
4) Do you have any grand expedition plans in the works?
Not at the moment. I've sort of been somewhat pondering how I might get to Victoria for New Year's Eve so that I might go to the summer staff '07 New Year's gathering. Which I would really, really love to get to, but I don't know if it would be possible, again, given that TUXIS is supposed to run from the 26th to the 31st of December. Bah.
5) What did you have for breakfast this morning?
Cheesy bread sticks that my mom made. They are delightful :)
6) Am I learning any new instruments this year?
Well, funny you should ask. My brother brought the recorders up from the basement just this evening, and I've almost re-mastered 'engine, engine number 9' *snickerwheeze*.
7) Is Mary still my flute teacher?
Yes. Only her name's not actually Mary. And she doesn't teach me the flute. Or any other musical instrument. She doesn't teach me anything at all, really.
8) Am I wearing underwear?
Yes. Wait...Yes.
9) Am I doing much besides school?
Well, I'm doing most everything BUT school. Only that's a lie, for at the moment I'm not doing really anything besides work. But I hope to change that, now that I'm a bit less shell-shocked.
10) Please spiel about the foods you have been building: Well, actually, the only food I think I've built in the last two weeks was Kraft Dinner on Sunday and I think a salad or two. Us offspring are doing shared meal preparation twice per week rather than singular meal preparation once per week, and since my shift ends at 5 pm most days and I don't get home till at least 6 or 6.30, there's been more 'sibling makes supper, Hannah cleans up' of late.
So writing all of this was probably not the most wise decision, for it is now past midnight, and I've really been needing my sleep these days. But it feels good to be in semi-contact with you folks. And I've been thinking an awful lot about calling you people- it's just been that I'm still getting accustomed to having only 4 or 5 hours of my own time after having days and weeks to myself- ie I keep accidentally wasting my evenings cause I'm not used to having them be so short. So anyway, I do hope that all of you are doing well, and I plan on talking to you soon :)
-Ratty
Monday, October 29, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Born to Hand-Jive, Baby...
Yup, I have that song stuck in my head. Oh, Grease, my first musical obsession. See, I have this odd relationship with musical productions, particularly movie-musicals (but that's probably because it is with these that I've had the most experience). I'll see the production, often without really intending to, then I'll have the songs playing over and over in my head for about two days straight. And after this period, I become obsessed. Even if I didn't particularly enjoy- heck, even if I hated a musical number the first time I heard it, I'll be totally in love with it after the 'earworm period'. So then I download all the songs and listen to them more times, continuing to have them running a non-stop loop in my head, only getting gradually more defined as I learn all the lyrics. This period lasts for about a week, sometimes more if I really, really liked the musical. Then the obsession gradually fades, but I forever hold the lyrics in my brain and get such an excited, jubilant feeling whenever one of the songs shows up again in my life. This seems to be the cycle with every musical I experience- starting with my long-running and intense love-affair with Grease, then my great obsession with Chicago, followed by certain Gilbert and Sullivan numbers, Fiddler on the Roof (funny, it never happened for Guys and Dolls- probably because none of the songs in my head were put there of my own accord, so I forever associate "you can bet that he's doin' it for some dolls..." with science class and Mark Shultz and irritation on the bus or West Coast rather than the actual production), Annie get your Gun (and that one was only partial, again given the association of certain songs in my mind with the library and Marek), RENT, Westside Story (only a little, I think because the cycle was interrupted by seeing the production numerous times, so I became more attached to the actual production than the musical numbers), Singin' in the Rain, Harvey Girls (but only that one song, you know, "the Atchinson, Topeka and the Santa Fe"); even movies that had songs in them but weren't musicals like A Mighty Wind, A Goofy Movie and Veggie Tales make it onto the list. You know what I just realised- I think that this is a fairly normal pattern for people to go through, only they generally go through it with particular musical albums. The reason why it's musicals for me is that I rarely listen to CDs, rarely enough that hymns and musicals have been the more consistent source of music throughout my life. That might be a little sad.
Actually, you know what's even more sad is I just spent about an hour writing on something I had no intention of going into. That whole paragraph was meant to be about two sentences of explanation. Anyway, the reason I started writing this blogpost is because I was filling out my Winter Session application and needed a break from the stress of permanent words on pages that will determine whether or not I get to do what I've desired doing and shaped my life around since hearing about it.... (*deep breath*), so I thought I'd do this. And I thought of doing this so that I might share a little bit of joy that I found the other day in my pile of old report cards...
So the story goes that in grade 4, each reporting period Mrs. Bishop had us write letters to her regarding how we felt were doing in terms of in-class behaviour, and this was included in our report card. I totally forgot about this until two days ago when I was looking through all my old report cards- the ultimate task was to find my immunization records but I was having more fun being distracted by learning about what I was like at various stages of childhood by teacher's comments. But anyway, in this second letter from grade 4 I found an astonishing sentence about halfway through:
"I find that I am quite good at learning in a group but you sometimes start saying something boring and it starts getting hard to focus on the topic"
Wha!!! I actually wrote that to my teacher?!! *snickerwheeze*. I have to say that sometimes I amaze myself. There was nothing mean-spirited about the comment, either, I was just being dreadfully honest. I doubt that I even considered that there might be something wrong with writing that. Oh, Hannah...
On an entirely different topic, I got the job I wanted! Yay! So I'm working at the Bethany Care Centre as a recreation attendant, which means that I my main job is to assist the recreational therapists in doing their work with the residents. My position summary from the website is as follows:
"The Recreation Attendant is accountable for providing recreation and leisure activities as scheduled and directed by the Recreation Therapist. The Recreation Attendant will work to ensure the continued organization and smooth running of new and ongoing programs/activities in accordance with Bethany Care Society’s philosophy, objectives and standards"
I start on Monday, and I'm super excited, while also being super-terrified! I think I'm more excited than frightened, though, so it's all good. The people I've talked to/met/been interviewed by at Bethany have all seemed really awesome- all informal and kind and helpful, so I'm looking forward to it :). Let's all give a grand 'hurrah!' for meaningful employment!
Actually, you know what's even more sad is I just spent about an hour writing on something I had no intention of going into. That whole paragraph was meant to be about two sentences of explanation. Anyway, the reason I started writing this blogpost is because I was filling out my Winter Session application and needed a break from the stress of permanent words on pages that will determine whether or not I get to do what I've desired doing and shaped my life around since hearing about it.... (*deep breath*), so I thought I'd do this. And I thought of doing this so that I might share a little bit of joy that I found the other day in my pile of old report cards...
So the story goes that in grade 4, each reporting period Mrs. Bishop had us write letters to her regarding how we felt were doing in terms of in-class behaviour, and this was included in our report card. I totally forgot about this until two days ago when I was looking through all my old report cards- the ultimate task was to find my immunization records but I was having more fun being distracted by learning about what I was like at various stages of childhood by teacher's comments. But anyway, in this second letter from grade 4 I found an astonishing sentence about halfway through:
"I find that I am quite good at learning in a group but you sometimes start saying something boring and it starts getting hard to focus on the topic"
Wha!!! I actually wrote that to my teacher?!! *snickerwheeze*. I have to say that sometimes I amaze myself. There was nothing mean-spirited about the comment, either, I was just being dreadfully honest. I doubt that I even considered that there might be something wrong with writing that. Oh, Hannah...
On an entirely different topic, I got the job I wanted! Yay! So I'm working at the Bethany Care Centre as a recreation attendant, which means that I my main job is to assist the recreational therapists in doing their work with the residents. My position summary from the website is as follows:
"The Recreation Attendant is accountable for providing recreation and leisure activities as scheduled and directed by the Recreation Therapist. The Recreation Attendant will work to ensure the continued organization and smooth running of new and ongoing programs/activities in accordance with Bethany Care Society’s philosophy, objectives and standards"
I start on Monday, and I'm super excited, while also being super-terrified! I think I'm more excited than frightened, though, so it's all good. The people I've talked to/met/been interviewed by at Bethany have all seemed really awesome- all informal and kind and helpful, so I'm looking forward to it :). Let's all give a grand 'hurrah!' for meaningful employment!
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Yay, it's story time!
Time for another story from the Mang-Wooley Continuous-Writing Anthology! This one comes from our first round, where we each had one minute, were able to see the last person's portion and it went around 1 and a half times (the last person was given 3 minutes to finish the story). This time I shall indicate the changes in authorship with a "/", 'cause I think knowing the transitions makes it better:
There was once a lovely curvaceous bass guitar named Ruby. Ruby had a wonderful personality and her voice / rang out with the song of a thousand sparrows. Everyone in the land gathered from far and wide to hear Ruby sing. Even the King, who never cried/ came along. And hearing the beautiful meoldy for the first time, a single tear formed at the corner of his eye./ The bear was beautiful, elegant, and everything else good imaginable. His life had just got better, even better than the day he got married to Suzan. / Mind you, the day he married Susan was hardly what you'd call "elegant", standing in hip-waders in the middle of their favourite fly-fishing stream./ The church choir, made of the elderly Bennet sister, 2 sets of Everly twins and one of the Smiths from Buck street- stood on the shores of the stream, shivering and belting out "O Precious Love". / The audience didn't know how to react- they had never expereinced anything like this before. Finally, after what seemed like hours, a small boy joined in the song. Everyone else reacted immediately, as if they were jolted awake from a deep sleep. Everyone for miles around could hear the joyful hymn.
And since these ones are shorter, I shall grace you with another one from the first round:
Once upon a time there was a confused cat named Smee. Smee had very little idea what was going on most of the time./ In fact, most of the time good things were happening to Smee, but Smee didn't realise it. In fact, if Smee knew what was happening/, she would be so overjoyed that she would likely pop that nasty aneurysm that had been growing in her foot since the day she won the field-goal kicking contest. / She thought that if she could get rid of the annoyance she could focus on perfecting her dribbling technique. Her coach had been bugging her/ about his personal problems- how he was gaining weight despite running around all day, how he blacked out for hours at a time, waking up in a new place every morning/, and his horrible foot fungus. She could barely stand it.
"Well, that's awful, Sir, but I really must get on the train now"/
After that encounter, Suzan enjoyed the train ride home. She ate over a pound of biscuits and a gallon of tea while enjoying the scenery of the rolling hills of Scotland. It had been quite the day.
Hooray *clap, clap, clap*. Now off to see if I have a ride to this evening's 'function'. See y'alls later today :)
There was once a lovely curvaceous bass guitar named Ruby. Ruby had a wonderful personality and her voice / rang out with the song of a thousand sparrows. Everyone in the land gathered from far and wide to hear Ruby sing. Even the King, who never cried/ came along. And hearing the beautiful meoldy for the first time, a single tear formed at the corner of his eye./ The bear was beautiful, elegant, and everything else good imaginable. His life had just got better, even better than the day he got married to Suzan. / Mind you, the day he married Susan was hardly what you'd call "elegant", standing in hip-waders in the middle of their favourite fly-fishing stream./ The church choir, made of the elderly Bennet sister, 2 sets of Everly twins and one of the Smiths from Buck street- stood on the shores of the stream, shivering and belting out "O Precious Love". / The audience didn't know how to react- they had never expereinced anything like this before. Finally, after what seemed like hours, a small boy joined in the song. Everyone else reacted immediately, as if they were jolted awake from a deep sleep. Everyone for miles around could hear the joyful hymn.
And since these ones are shorter, I shall grace you with another one from the first round:
Once upon a time there was a confused cat named Smee. Smee had very little idea what was going on most of the time./ In fact, most of the time good things were happening to Smee, but Smee didn't realise it. In fact, if Smee knew what was happening/, she would be so overjoyed that she would likely pop that nasty aneurysm that had been growing in her foot since the day she won the field-goal kicking contest. / She thought that if she could get rid of the annoyance she could focus on perfecting her dribbling technique. Her coach had been bugging her/ about his personal problems- how he was gaining weight despite running around all day, how he blacked out for hours at a time, waking up in a new place every morning/, and his horrible foot fungus. She could barely stand it.
"Well, that's awful, Sir, but I really must get on the train now"/
After that encounter, Suzan enjoyed the train ride home. She ate over a pound of biscuits and a gallon of tea while enjoying the scenery of the rolling hills of Scotland. It had been quite the day.
Hooray *clap, clap, clap*. Now off to see if I have a ride to this evening's 'function'. See y'alls later today :)
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The Most Awesome-ist Commercial Ever...
Basically the best thing ever, I am convinced :). Can anyone decipher what the neighbour/ police officer is struggling with in the background when he's standing on the lawn?
Yes, it is I.
First post in a long time, I know. I kind of wasn't sure if folksies were still using these or not, and I had this irrational process where I'd think to myself every once in while "I should check to see if friendslies are still using blogs", but then wouldn't because secretly I was afraid that people were updating and commenting and such, and as soon as I knew then I'd actually have to face the fact that I'd been ignoring this communication and not contributing to it and I'd feel guilty about that. So my solution to all this was to just postpone it further, because, you know, that would make it all better, see. Sigh. I do things like this far too often, and I know that the longer I leave it, the worse it gets, but I let this little irrational subconscious voice lead me instead of my brain.
Anyway, I'm here! And I'm missing people like crazy- school friends, Naramata folk, just people outside my immediate family basically. At the moment I'm looking for work, and by looking for work I mean that I had a meeting with the vice president of spiritual and pastoral care at the Bethany Care Society (a senior's care facility), whom my mom knows, and she did some major networking for me, taking me on a tour of the facility and introducing me to a whole bunch of people. She gave me tips on my resume and asked me to send it to her so that she could distribute it to all the managers. So now I'm waiting for phone calls. I'd really like to do some front-line work with the residents, but I know that the likelyhood of that happening is questionable, given my lack of credentials and experience with such work, but I'm not ruling out the possibility entirely, given that they're really short-staffed in pretty much every department. And if that doesn't work out, I'll probably end up working for food services or something, which I'm sure would be fine. I'd be working to provide a service that I believe in anyway- rather than supporting a massive corporation just hoping to make more money- with my labour, and that's pretty much all I need.
Yesterday was family night and it was my turn to decide what we were going to do. I decided to do that awesome continuous story thing where each person writes for a length of time then passes their paper off to the right and so forth, each time folding so that only a portion of the story can be seen . The first round through we wrote for 1 minute each and allowed each person to read the portion that had just been written but nothing before that. For the second round, we each wrote for 3 minutes and allowed the next person to see the last sentence written, and the next person had to begin their portion using the letter of the alphabet that came after the last letter of the previous person's last word (basically, if I got a page where the last word of the previous person's portion was 'pernicious', then the word I started with would have to begin with 'T'). Oh, and we all had to start our round 2 storied with the letter 'D'. Anyway, they were all excessively awesome and I am going to publish one right now. It is the one that I started from round 2- see if you can spot the transitions :):
Dreadful Doctor Alberto was sitting at his desk, pondering. Why was the world so happy, he wondered to himself, whilst I am here, doing my dreadful doctorly deeds all alone? All of a sudden, a thought occurred to him.
"Aha!" he said out loud in his dreadful, hoarse way. Zebras were a passion of David's. He had gone off to Africa many times just to examine them. Of course, zebras had nothing to do with his chemist career. David sometimes wished he had a career that had to do with his true passion.
"Opera" he whispered to himself, as the bunsen burner happily warmed the flask of bubbling orange liquid. "I've always dreamed of singing in the great Opera Houses of Europe, but here I am, stuck in the Lab, trying to develop the next great food colouring that will make children even more hyperactive".
Not that he minded working in the Ritalin lab, mind you. They let him listen to whatever radio station he wanted to, but it was hard to find good Opera when all you get is AM. Norris, his lab mate was stone deaf, which made communicating a challenge- but once he found an obscure Swedish all-Opera channel on his short-wave he was a very happy worker. The residue from the Ritalin production seemed to affect his ability to concentrate...in a good way- singing loudly along to the Swedish Opera and producing Ritalin at an alarming rate. For the first time, the character in question was taking Ritalin out of necessity, rather than as a rainy day activity. The timpanis boomed in his ears with alarming clarity, and for a moment, he had the fleeting notion that he could understand every Swedish word being sung. However, that notion was short-lived, as the truth of the situation became clear. He had no understanding of Swedish- why had he come to this concert! In fact, he hated choral music of all kinds. Why on earth was he spending his time this way? With a large huff he stormed out of the theatre, never to be seen again.
Hooray! After writing all the stories I decided that we must make an anthology of them, so they are now bound in between two pieces of cardboard from a 'Hungry Man' microwave dinner, covered in stickers. I think I shall publish them one by one here, as I think of it, as they are far too awesome to stay only on our living room table. So, until next time, tally-ho and the best of wishes to all y'all!
-Rat
Anyway, I'm here! And I'm missing people like crazy- school friends, Naramata folk, just people outside my immediate family basically. At the moment I'm looking for work, and by looking for work I mean that I had a meeting with the vice president of spiritual and pastoral care at the Bethany Care Society (a senior's care facility), whom my mom knows, and she did some major networking for me, taking me on a tour of the facility and introducing me to a whole bunch of people. She gave me tips on my resume and asked me to send it to her so that she could distribute it to all the managers. So now I'm waiting for phone calls. I'd really like to do some front-line work with the residents, but I know that the likelyhood of that happening is questionable, given my lack of credentials and experience with such work, but I'm not ruling out the possibility entirely, given that they're really short-staffed in pretty much every department. And if that doesn't work out, I'll probably end up working for food services or something, which I'm sure would be fine. I'd be working to provide a service that I believe in anyway- rather than supporting a massive corporation just hoping to make more money- with my labour, and that's pretty much all I need.
Yesterday was family night and it was my turn to decide what we were going to do. I decided to do that awesome continuous story thing where each person writes for a length of time then passes their paper off to the right and so forth, each time folding so that only a portion of the story can be seen . The first round through we wrote for 1 minute each and allowed each person to read the portion that had just been written but nothing before that. For the second round, we each wrote for 3 minutes and allowed the next person to see the last sentence written, and the next person had to begin their portion using the letter of the alphabet that came after the last letter of the previous person's last word (basically, if I got a page where the last word of the previous person's portion was 'pernicious', then the word I started with would have to begin with 'T'). Oh, and we all had to start our round 2 storied with the letter 'D'. Anyway, they were all excessively awesome and I am going to publish one right now. It is the one that I started from round 2- see if you can spot the transitions :):
Dreadful Doctor Alberto was sitting at his desk, pondering. Why was the world so happy, he wondered to himself, whilst I am here, doing my dreadful doctorly deeds all alone? All of a sudden, a thought occurred to him.
"Aha!" he said out loud in his dreadful, hoarse way. Zebras were a passion of David's. He had gone off to Africa many times just to examine them. Of course, zebras had nothing to do with his chemist career. David sometimes wished he had a career that had to do with his true passion.
"Opera" he whispered to himself, as the bunsen burner happily warmed the flask of bubbling orange liquid. "I've always dreamed of singing in the great Opera Houses of Europe, but here I am, stuck in the Lab, trying to develop the next great food colouring that will make children even more hyperactive".
Not that he minded working in the Ritalin lab, mind you. They let him listen to whatever radio station he wanted to, but it was hard to find good Opera when all you get is AM. Norris, his lab mate was stone deaf, which made communicating a challenge- but once he found an obscure Swedish all-Opera channel on his short-wave he was a very happy worker. The residue from the Ritalin production seemed to affect his ability to concentrate...in a good way- singing loudly along to the Swedish Opera and producing Ritalin at an alarming rate. For the first time, the character in question was taking Ritalin out of necessity, rather than as a rainy day activity. The timpanis boomed in his ears with alarming clarity, and for a moment, he had the fleeting notion that he could understand every Swedish word being sung. However, that notion was short-lived, as the truth of the situation became clear. He had no understanding of Swedish- why had he come to this concert! In fact, he hated choral music of all kinds. Why on earth was he spending his time this way? With a large huff he stormed out of the theatre, never to be seen again.
Hooray! After writing all the stories I decided that we must make an anthology of them, so they are now bound in between two pieces of cardboard from a 'Hungry Man' microwave dinner, covered in stickers. I think I shall publish them one by one here, as I think of it, as they are far too awesome to stay only on our living room table. So, until next time, tally-ho and the best of wishes to all y'all!
-Rat
Monday, May 28, 2007
The Rat lives!!!
So I really ought not to be posting seeing as tis 12:37 in the morning, but I just finished reading all yon's blogzles and realised how awful it is that I randomly disappeared from basically everyone's life (except Nomad's, but that is kind of a different matter). So, a recap of life for the Rat:
I don't have a job. I've basically been lazing around the house all day for the past month, ridding the yard of dandelions on occasion, having good chats with my sister on occasion but mostly just sleeping till noon and doing nothing. Actually nothing. As in, sitting on the chesterfield, looking at Matilda's hat for half an hour. Pretty pathetic.
But there is some amount of reason for this. First, I was wanting to go to this weekend retreat at Naramata over the long weekend (May 18-21; the annual 'Imagine' weekend for LGBT persons) and figured I should wait until it was over to find a job, because I was lazy and didn't feel like telling an employer that I'd want time off after, you know, 3 days on the job or something, and I was also thinking that I'd like to get out to Regina before getting a job, which would mean probably sometime in the last week of May seeing as TUXIS was this last weekend (May 25-27). But then, there was no one that was able to give me a ride to Naramata, all flights were booked up save one that was over $400 (for an 'executive class' seat on a plane that didn't actually have any 'executive class' seats), and Geyhound went in strike the very day that I'd be travelling. So, needless to say that didn't work out. So then there was TUXIS, and now I'm thinking that Regina is fairly unlikely. But anyway, the point of that whole spiel is that I wanted to have certain things done before job-hunting, and now they are done but I'm thinking that maybe I want to volunteer for this last month instead of working. Because work sounds like death, and I'm not sure who'd like to hire me if I'm only available for a month, and, if possible I would like to get a bit more experience with kiddies before going out to Naramata. Yes.
As previously stated, I was at TUXIS this last weekend, and Nomad came with (yay Nomad!). 'Twas in Redcliff, a wee town just outside of Medicine Hat, and it wasn't the greatest conference but I still enjoyed myself. I got the year's first sunburn and people seemed to like our Devos programming. Not that the two are related in any way :).
My summer goal is to be able to fall forwards and land without dying, as I was taught to do in Gymnastics class when I was 6. I'm much bigger now and further from the ground, but I'm making fairly good progress. I can fall successfully from the "chair" position (you all know what I'm talking about. You know, standing up with knees bent at a 90 degree angle), and will hopefully be able to do so from a totally upright stance before I depart for Naramata.
I have that evil "Chariots of Fire" theme song stuck in my head because we just watched the movie. I detest that song.
So yeah, that's pretty much my life right now. I hope to make contact with y'alls sometime soon as I miss everyone and want to know how life is going for my dear pals. Anywhom, goodnight for now,
Ratty
I don't have a job. I've basically been lazing around the house all day for the past month, ridding the yard of dandelions on occasion, having good chats with my sister on occasion but mostly just sleeping till noon and doing nothing. Actually nothing. As in, sitting on the chesterfield, looking at Matilda's hat for half an hour. Pretty pathetic.
But there is some amount of reason for this. First, I was wanting to go to this weekend retreat at Naramata over the long weekend (May 18-21; the annual 'Imagine' weekend for LGBT persons) and figured I should wait until it was over to find a job, because I was lazy and didn't feel like telling an employer that I'd want time off after, you know, 3 days on the job or something, and I was also thinking that I'd like to get out to Regina before getting a job, which would mean probably sometime in the last week of May seeing as TUXIS was this last weekend (May 25-27). But then, there was no one that was able to give me a ride to Naramata, all flights were booked up save one that was over $400 (for an 'executive class' seat on a plane that didn't actually have any 'executive class' seats), and Geyhound went in strike the very day that I'd be travelling. So, needless to say that didn't work out. So then there was TUXIS, and now I'm thinking that Regina is fairly unlikely. But anyway, the point of that whole spiel is that I wanted to have certain things done before job-hunting, and now they are done but I'm thinking that maybe I want to volunteer for this last month instead of working. Because work sounds like death, and I'm not sure who'd like to hire me if I'm only available for a month, and, if possible I would like to get a bit more experience with kiddies before going out to Naramata. Yes.
As previously stated, I was at TUXIS this last weekend, and Nomad came with (yay Nomad!). 'Twas in Redcliff, a wee town just outside of Medicine Hat, and it wasn't the greatest conference but I still enjoyed myself. I got the year's first sunburn and people seemed to like our Devos programming. Not that the two are related in any way :).
My summer goal is to be able to fall forwards and land without dying, as I was taught to do in Gymnastics class when I was 6. I'm much bigger now and further from the ground, but I'm making fairly good progress. I can fall successfully from the "chair" position (you all know what I'm talking about. You know, standing up with knees bent at a 90 degree angle), and will hopefully be able to do so from a totally upright stance before I depart for Naramata.
I have that evil "Chariots of Fire" theme song stuck in my head because we just watched the movie. I detest that song.
So yeah, that's pretty much my life right now. I hope to make contact with y'alls sometime soon as I miss everyone and want to know how life is going for my dear pals. Anywhom, goodnight for now,
Ratty
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Just for you, Tyger. And because I have nothing else to do.
A-
Available: Almost always these days, but not weekends.
Age: 18
Annoyance: people's sense of entitlement
Actor: Meryl Streep, Philip Seymore Hoffman
B-
Beer: foul
Birthday/Birthplace: July 20, Regina
Best Friends: you know who you are
Body Part on opposite sex: ummm...there are lots, almost all the same as body parts of those of the same sex. Actually, in utero we all have exactly the same parts for a length of time, so sexual reassignment surgery often doesn't require any tissues foreign to the area.
Best feeling in the world: God. Or what I call God. A mixture of joy, deep peace and love for all things.
Big words: make me angry when used to make others feel subordinate. Make me happy when used as part of genuine vocabulary.
Best weather: warm enough to wear a t-shirt, but cool enough to be comfy in pants.
Been in Love: I have loved but not been in love. As in it hasn't been reciprocal.
Been bitched out?: quoi? I don't understand this question.
Been on stage?: yesh
Believe in yourself?: I do believe that I exist, yes.
Believe in life on other planets: I really don't know. I'm open to the possibility.
Believe in miracles: if 'miracles' are situations that occur beyond our expectations of how things work in the world, then yes. Things happen that we don't understand because the world creates us, we don't create the world.
Believe in Magic: depends how you define magic. I believe that there are things that some people can do with energy and such that is difficult for us to explain in conventional terms, but it still exists.
Believe in God: yup. I don't think that God can be fully comprehended by the human brain, though. I believe that there are things that exist in the world that humans simply do not have the evolutionary capacity to grasp, and the full range of God is one of them.
Believe in Satan: nope
Believe in Santa: not since I was 6.
Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Again, I'm open to the possibility.
Believe in Evolution: it's something that we know exists, so basically if you don't believe in it you're irrational.
C-
Car: not for me, thanks.
Candy: yes please.
Colour: I like lots of it.
Cried in school: yes, but not often.
Class: liked most all of the ones I took this year- Religious Studies, Film Studies, Sociology, Ethics, Anthropology, Geography.
Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
Chinese/Mexican: (this question always scares me, each time I read it. "I sure hope it's talking about food" says I) Chinese food.
Cake or pie: "I want cake and pie"
Country to visit: every country seems fascinating?
D-
Day or Night: sunrise and sunset.
Dream vehicle: no vehicle.
Danced: at one point, yes.
Dance in the rain?: One joyous day I did with my siblings. I should do it again.
Do the splits?: after much gruelling effort, I managed to get my left splits. I don't have the desire to ever do that again.
E-
Eggs: should always be free range, in my opinion.
Eyes: mine are blue, I think.
Everyone has: a biological parent. For now, anyway.
Ever failed a class? I don't think so.
F-
First crush: first 'every girl has a crush so I will too'-crush: Jamie, a cute little sick boy in grade 1. First real crush: Megan, a camp counsellor when I was 12.
First kiss: Kevin Hayes, grade 2 (and not one since then)
Full name: *not publishing here*
First thoughts waking up: ummm... I really should get up now ?
Food: I like when it doesn't require slaughter.
G-
Greatest Fear: not having any reason to be alive.
Giver or taker: I'd like to be more of a giver, but I think I'm more of a taker.
Goals: to be a more loving person and less inhibited in expressing that.
Gum: is overpackaged.
Get along with your parents?: sure do. My parents are awesome.
Good luck charm: the small figurine of a sad Mexican man I found on the ground one day and decided that it would be my good luck charm. Because it's cool, not because it seems to bring me any luck :)
Groups: ummm... our school group?
In girls/guys:
Eye colour: not important
Hair Colour: not important
Short/Long: not important
Height: not important
Clothing Style: not important
H-
Hair Colour: it's still blonde, I think
Height: 5'4" or so
Happy: most of the time
Holiday: summer, because it's long and doesn't directly involve consumerism.
How do you want to die: like Tyger said, at peace.
Health freak?: not at all
Hate: I wish there was less in the world.
I-
Ice cream: not Nestle! Terrible, exploitative Nestle...
Instrument: have never played one.
J-
Jewellery: generally find it tacky.
Job: need to get one soon!
K-
Kids: are awesome
Kickboxing or karate: karate, it seems to have more of a disciplined attitude. As in, 'don't use it unless you have to'
Keep a journal?: yesh
L-
Longest Car Ride: from Ottawa through to the Maritimes and back.
Love: should be maximised in all forms.
Letter: all letters are equally interesting?
Laughed so hard you cried: not for a while.
Love at first sight: you can't love someone if you don't know what they're like. You can be attracted to someone then find out that you love them once you get to know them, but the initial feeling is not love.
LAST PERSON WHO...
1. Slept in a bed beside you? Nomad slept on the floor beside me last night...
2. Saw you cry? Hmmm... Nicki at Tuxis
3. Went to the movies with you? mah family.
4. You went to the mall with? I haven't been to the mall forever, which is something I pride myself for :)
5. You went to dinner with? My dad
6. You talked to on the phone? David Drake
7. Made you laugh? Nomad, or maybe the cat.
M-
Milk flavour: chocolate
Movie: oh, lots
Mooned anyone?: never
Marriage?: if there comes to be someone in my life that I would want to marry, yes- now that I can and all :)
Motion sickness?: sometimes *shudder*
N-
Number of Siblings: 2
Number of Piercings: 2- left ear, right ear.
Number: 4
O-
Overused Phrases: "I need _____"
One wish: to get a ride to Naramata next weekend!
One phobia: phoning strangers, or people I don't know very well.
P-
Place you'd like to live: I'd like to live in BC at some point, methinks.
Perfect Pizza: many types of cheeses.
Pepsi/Coke: Coke, but both are awful, multinational conglomerates destroying local cultures.
Q-
Quail: Hee! I lurves their cooing and little flippy-things on top of their heads!
R-
Reason to cry: sorrow
Reality T.V.: not for me, thanks.
Radio Station: CBC radio one
Roll your tongue in a circle?: yuppers
S-
Song: singing is good
Shoe size: 7-ish, I think. Haven't bought shoes in awhile.
Salad Dressing: homemade caesar with lots of garlic and without the Worchestershire sauce :)
Sushi: not a fan
Scent: summer nights, ozone after a rainfall
Slept outside: yes
Seen a dead body?: not a human one
Smoked?: no
Skinny dipped?: nope
Shower Daily?: no. Every second day, it's more environmental.
Sing well? not at all
In the shower: never
Strawberries/Blueberries: blueberries!
Scientists need to invent: something to halt our destruction of the planet while people (Westerners) learn to adjust their lives to be sustainable.
T-
Time for bed: usually sometime past midnight, but I'm trying to change that.
Thunderstorms: fascinating, exciting, sometimes scary
TV: could live without it. I like Coronation Street, ER and CBC documentaries, but other than that I tend to avoid it.
Touch your tongue to your nose?: I can touch it to the bottom of my nose, but never the tip.
U-
Unpredictable: the cat
Unpredictability: makes life more interesting :)
V-
Vegetable you hate: radishes
Vegetable you love: carrots and green beans from the garden
Vacation spot: Naramata *happy sigh*
W-
Weakness: not being assertive enough, fear of calling on the telephone.
When you grow up: I hope I am happy
Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Nomad, which is understandable.
Who makes you laugh the most: hmmm...lots of people.
Worst feeling: hopelessness
Wanted to be a model?: never
Where do we go when we die: wherever people put you.
Worst weather: stale snow, entirely grey sky, cold. It makes everything look like death and me wonder if life is worth living.
X-
X-Rays: are frightening
Y-
Year it is now: 2007
Yellow: makes me glad.
Z-
Zoo animal: your mom *SNAP*
Zodiac sign: cancer
Available: Almost always these days, but not weekends.
Age: 18
Annoyance: people's sense of entitlement
Actor: Meryl Streep, Philip Seymore Hoffman
B-
Beer: foul
Birthday/Birthplace: July 20, Regina
Best Friends: you know who you are
Body Part on opposite sex: ummm...there are lots, almost all the same as body parts of those of the same sex. Actually, in utero we all have exactly the same parts for a length of time, so sexual reassignment surgery often doesn't require any tissues foreign to the area.
Best feeling in the world: God. Or what I call God. A mixture of joy, deep peace and love for all things.
Big words: make me angry when used to make others feel subordinate. Make me happy when used as part of genuine vocabulary.
Best weather: warm enough to wear a t-shirt, but cool enough to be comfy in pants.
Been in Love: I have loved but not been in love. As in it hasn't been reciprocal.
Been bitched out?: quoi? I don't understand this question.
Been on stage?: yesh
Believe in yourself?: I do believe that I exist, yes.
Believe in life on other planets: I really don't know. I'm open to the possibility.
Believe in miracles: if 'miracles' are situations that occur beyond our expectations of how things work in the world, then yes. Things happen that we don't understand because the world creates us, we don't create the world.
Believe in Magic: depends how you define magic. I believe that there are things that some people can do with energy and such that is difficult for us to explain in conventional terms, but it still exists.
Believe in God: yup. I don't think that God can be fully comprehended by the human brain, though. I believe that there are things that exist in the world that humans simply do not have the evolutionary capacity to grasp, and the full range of God is one of them.
Believe in Satan: nope
Believe in Santa: not since I was 6.
Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Again, I'm open to the possibility.
Believe in Evolution: it's something that we know exists, so basically if you don't believe in it you're irrational.
C-
Car: not for me, thanks.
Candy: yes please.
Colour: I like lots of it.
Cried in school: yes, but not often.
Class: liked most all of the ones I took this year- Religious Studies, Film Studies, Sociology, Ethics, Anthropology, Geography.
Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate
Chinese/Mexican: (this question always scares me, each time I read it. "I sure hope it's talking about food" says I) Chinese food.
Cake or pie: "I want cake and pie"
Country to visit: every country seems fascinating?
D-
Day or Night: sunrise and sunset.
Dream vehicle: no vehicle.
Danced: at one point, yes.
Dance in the rain?: One joyous day I did with my siblings. I should do it again.
Do the splits?: after much gruelling effort, I managed to get my left splits. I don't have the desire to ever do that again.
E-
Eggs: should always be free range, in my opinion.
Eyes: mine are blue, I think.
Everyone has: a biological parent. For now, anyway.
Ever failed a class? I don't think so.
F-
First crush: first 'every girl has a crush so I will too'-crush: Jamie, a cute little sick boy in grade 1. First real crush: Megan, a camp counsellor when I was 12.
First kiss: Kevin Hayes, grade 2 (and not one since then)
Full name: *not publishing here*
First thoughts waking up: ummm... I really should get up now ?
Food: I like when it doesn't require slaughter.
G-
Greatest Fear: not having any reason to be alive.
Giver or taker: I'd like to be more of a giver, but I think I'm more of a taker.
Goals: to be a more loving person and less inhibited in expressing that.
Gum: is overpackaged.
Get along with your parents?: sure do. My parents are awesome.
Good luck charm: the small figurine of a sad Mexican man I found on the ground one day and decided that it would be my good luck charm. Because it's cool, not because it seems to bring me any luck :)
Groups: ummm... our school group?
In girls/guys:
Eye colour: not important
Hair Colour: not important
Short/Long: not important
Height: not important
Clothing Style: not important
H-
Hair Colour: it's still blonde, I think
Height: 5'4" or so
Happy: most of the time
Holiday: summer, because it's long and doesn't directly involve consumerism.
How do you want to die: like Tyger said, at peace.
Health freak?: not at all
Hate: I wish there was less in the world.
I-
Ice cream: not Nestle! Terrible, exploitative Nestle...
Instrument: have never played one.
J-
Jewellery: generally find it tacky.
Job: need to get one soon!
K-
Kids: are awesome
Kickboxing or karate: karate, it seems to have more of a disciplined attitude. As in, 'don't use it unless you have to'
Keep a journal?: yesh
L-
Longest Car Ride: from Ottawa through to the Maritimes and back.
Love: should be maximised in all forms.
Letter: all letters are equally interesting?
Laughed so hard you cried: not for a while.
Love at first sight: you can't love someone if you don't know what they're like. You can be attracted to someone then find out that you love them once you get to know them, but the initial feeling is not love.
LAST PERSON WHO...
1. Slept in a bed beside you? Nomad slept on the floor beside me last night...
2. Saw you cry? Hmmm... Nicki at Tuxis
3. Went to the movies with you? mah family.
4. You went to the mall with? I haven't been to the mall forever, which is something I pride myself for :)
5. You went to dinner with? My dad
6. You talked to on the phone? David Drake
7. Made you laugh? Nomad, or maybe the cat.
M-
Milk flavour: chocolate
Movie: oh, lots
Mooned anyone?: never
Marriage?: if there comes to be someone in my life that I would want to marry, yes- now that I can and all :)
Motion sickness?: sometimes *shudder*
N-
Number of Siblings: 2
Number of Piercings: 2- left ear, right ear.
Number: 4
O-
Overused Phrases: "I need _____"
One wish: to get a ride to Naramata next weekend!
One phobia: phoning strangers, or people I don't know very well.
P-
Place you'd like to live: I'd like to live in BC at some point, methinks.
Perfect Pizza: many types of cheeses.
Pepsi/Coke: Coke, but both are awful, multinational conglomerates destroying local cultures.
Q-
Quail: Hee! I lurves their cooing and little flippy-things on top of their heads!
R-
Reason to cry: sorrow
Reality T.V.: not for me, thanks.
Radio Station: CBC radio one
Roll your tongue in a circle?: yuppers
S-
Song: singing is good
Shoe size: 7-ish, I think. Haven't bought shoes in awhile.
Salad Dressing: homemade caesar with lots of garlic and without the Worchestershire sauce :)
Sushi: not a fan
Scent: summer nights, ozone after a rainfall
Slept outside: yes
Seen a dead body?: not a human one
Smoked?: no
Skinny dipped?: nope
Shower Daily?: no. Every second day, it's more environmental.
Sing well? not at all
In the shower: never
Strawberries/Blueberries: blueberries!
Scientists need to invent: something to halt our destruction of the planet while people (Westerners) learn to adjust their lives to be sustainable.
T-
Time for bed: usually sometime past midnight, but I'm trying to change that.
Thunderstorms: fascinating, exciting, sometimes scary
TV: could live without it. I like Coronation Street, ER and CBC documentaries, but other than that I tend to avoid it.
Touch your tongue to your nose?: I can touch it to the bottom of my nose, but never the tip.
U-
Unpredictable: the cat
Unpredictability: makes life more interesting :)
V-
Vegetable you hate: radishes
Vegetable you love: carrots and green beans from the garden
Vacation spot: Naramata *happy sigh*
W-
Weakness: not being assertive enough, fear of calling on the telephone.
When you grow up: I hope I am happy
Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Nomad, which is understandable.
Who makes you laugh the most: hmmm...lots of people.
Worst feeling: hopelessness
Wanted to be a model?: never
Where do we go when we die: wherever people put you.
Worst weather: stale snow, entirely grey sky, cold. It makes everything look like death and me wonder if life is worth living.
X-
X-Rays: are frightening
Y-
Year it is now: 2007
Yellow: makes me glad.
Z-
Zoo animal: your mom *SNAP*
Zodiac sign: cancer
Monday, April 23, 2007
Here it is y'all. I fail...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. Everyone must write this on your blog too
I think you could disregard #8, as I'm pretty sure I'm the last person who might peruse my blog to post this :)
So, I'm half done my exams. Yay. Only not really. Man, my study skills do leave something to be desired. Basically studying this term equals distracting myself until the morning of the exam, then studying on the ride there and hoping I don't fail. Shudder. I really don't think I'm cut out for this whole 'you're responsible for your own learning' concept. Well, actually the only reason I worked in high school was because I knew the teachers and I wanted them to like me for seeming like I cared about what they were doing. But now in university none of the profs really care at all whether students do well or poorly or even show up to class, so my primary motivation is gone and I haven't found anything to replace it as of yet. Silly ratty.
What else is there to say... Oh, I came out to my Grammy yesterday (I know, perhaps it's weird to say this on a blog post. But you know, it's part of my life so whatever). And she was awesome. I mean, I was fairly sure that it was going to be okay because she has been super active in her church to make it an Affirming congregation (as in openly welcoming of GLBT people), but I was still nervous because you can never really be sure what a person's response will be until you do it, especially when it's family. I've heard some stories about people whose parents have been all gay-positive and everything, yet end up having trouble coming to terms when their child comes out. But anyway, my Grammy was awesome, she said that she'd always wondered why she was so interested in all the Affirming stuff when there was no one in the family to whom it applied, and God does seem to work in mysterious ways! And we shared a very meaningful hug, and all was well.
So, that's about it for now. By the way, whose turn is it for the Round-Robin story?
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. Everyone must write this on your blog too
I think you could disregard #8, as I'm pretty sure I'm the last person who might peruse my blog to post this :)
So, I'm half done my exams. Yay. Only not really. Man, my study skills do leave something to be desired. Basically studying this term equals distracting myself until the morning of the exam, then studying on the ride there and hoping I don't fail. Shudder. I really don't think I'm cut out for this whole 'you're responsible for your own learning' concept. Well, actually the only reason I worked in high school was because I knew the teachers and I wanted them to like me for seeming like I cared about what they were doing. But now in university none of the profs really care at all whether students do well or poorly or even show up to class, so my primary motivation is gone and I haven't found anything to replace it as of yet. Silly ratty.
What else is there to say... Oh, I came out to my Grammy yesterday (I know, perhaps it's weird to say this on a blog post. But you know, it's part of my life so whatever). And she was awesome. I mean, I was fairly sure that it was going to be okay because she has been super active in her church to make it an Affirming congregation (as in openly welcoming of GLBT people), but I was still nervous because you can never really be sure what a person's response will be until you do it, especially when it's family. I've heard some stories about people whose parents have been all gay-positive and everything, yet end up having trouble coming to terms when their child comes out. But anyway, my Grammy was awesome, she said that she'd always wondered why she was so interested in all the Affirming stuff when there was no one in the family to whom it applied, and God does seem to work in mysterious ways! And we shared a very meaningful hug, and all was well.
So, that's about it for now. By the way, whose turn is it for the Round-Robin story?
Monday, April 2, 2007
The first in our saga...
So, here goes. I shall write the first paragraph of our round-robin blogstory, and the first to comment on it shall continue it on their blog (the comment is supposed to indicate whoever reads it first, but be a signal to others that someone is already writing part 2, so as not to get all muddled). But anyway, here goes. By the way, I'm just going to go with my first thoughts. No well-formulated plot line for me! *Ahehem*
The Round Robin
"Angie! Angie! C'mere!"
Scot looked up from his angsty poem to see his young sister bowling through the bushes toward him.
"ANGIEEEEE!"
"Shut up Christophola! I already told you, my name is Scot!"
"Wh-wh-what?" The small girl looked up at him, her little beady eyes filling with confusion. They reminded him of leechy nut pits, dark and round, glistening like that. He wanted to be kinder to those little eyes, but witness protection did not take these things lightly. He crouched down, knees sinking into the wet moss. God, he hated this place!
Okay, that's it for now. Let's see where this goes, shall we?
The people on Wondercafe.ca are my people
It really is a pretty cool site. And when I say 'cool' I mean 'full of 45-50 year olds addicted to their laptops', but there's a lot of interesting and intellectual conversations going on there. I seem to have this habit of going on once every 3 months or so for a full-day forum binge, then avoiding it completely and not even thinking about it for weeks and months. Whenever I DO think of it and decide to go on, it has this horrible ability to suck me in for hours and hours, thus effectively keeping me from getting ANY work done whatsoever. I managed to become entranced by it this last Sunday. I was glad, it seems as though most of the fundamantalists lost interest since last time I perused. It's kind of tough having very conservative Christians on such a theologically liberal site. I mean, I think ecumenical dialogue is definitely a good thing, but how on earth do you find common ground with someone who says 'God says suchandforth, it's in the bible' when you have a totally opposite view of the nature of the book in question? I mean, how can I even try to convince someone who says that God condemns gays of anything different, given that their belief is based on a conviction that the bible is an infallable, accurate account for all time and the absolute word directly from God's lips (if you believe God has lips, which is another discussion), whereas I (and I think I can fairly safely say the vast majority of the United Church) see the bible as a collection of written accounts from particular places, times, and sociocultural contexts, with a rich array of theologically enlightened verses, yes, but also open to criticism and historical analysis just like the published works of any modern day theologian? It just gets too messy. And I think people have kind of realised that now, with the number of conservative posts in liberal discussions that just kind of get ignored. Which sounds terrible, but you know, it's often the most peaceful way to do it. Sorry about all that, I kind of didn't mean to write that much on the subject :)
I wish that I was more thankful for the blessings I have in life. Seriously, I am so stupidly priveledged, it's actually mindboggling to try and face the whole scope of it. Not even looking at the big stuff, all of the ginormous benefits I received simply for the cosmic accident of me being born in North America (I was born in a giant, sterilised, latex-gloved, disposable-gown, million-dollar technology-equipped hospital. There are places in the world that have never seen running water. Sounds cliche, but just think about that for a moment.) Even in North America I was born to well-educated, white, middle-class, english-speaking parents; some other lottery wins that have afforded me powers that I don't even know. And within that, my parents wanted children, they loved me and were able to care for me, had been afforded good family backgrounds themselves, allowing them to become excellent parents. Because of things that I did not choose nor did I earn, I grew up with EDUCATION, and I never appreciated it. School was a chore, while there are kids all over the world who work like stink and love doing it, being so grateful to have the opportunity to be in school in the first place. Now I'm in UNIVERSITY, taking a FREE YEAR with money enough in the bank for at least another year, probably two, which is absolutely, unfathomably ridiculous from so many points of view. People I know want to be in university but can't afford it. Others I know are in university but struggling to afford it. Others I know are in university but working half their time to afford it. Still others are in university, working half their time to afford it AND providing for a family. So obviously I'm in a crazy priveledged position, even in CANADA. Not only in Canada, but in ALBERTA, where there is WORK. There are so many places where there is no work to be found, in Canada and around the world. And in so very many places, in Calgary, in Alberta, in Canada, in North America, on the rest of the PLANET there are people who would give anything to go to university. And yet, here I sit, at my laptop computer, after midnight, avoiding a paper that is overdue. It's absolutely ridiculous. How many of the aforementioned people, who would be in heaven if they found out that there were finances and resources and circumstances allowing them to go to university, how many would EVER be caught dead taking such reckless advantage of that gift by procrastinating on an overdue assignment? Just try seeing this situation from the perspective of a young girl in the Southern hemisphere, in a country of the two-thirds world, whose culture barely recognises women, whose government doesn't fund schools, whose parents struggle to find jobs, whose country is basically owned by the world bank and IMF and impoverished by colonial-era trading practises- it is absolutely ridiculous.
Now, that isn't to say that everything in North America is rosy and heaven. I really do question the whole "they have nothing" thing that one so often hears, when it is obvious that with the amount of deep community and belonging that exists, and the cohesiveness and not-even-questioned generosity and selfless sharing that I hear about from every single person coming back from these areas, that "they" have something incredibly precious that "we" have no concept of. Taking all this into account- the immense, immeasurable value that exists in the lives and cultures of people around the world, even in impoverished or 'underdeveloped' areas of the world- I think we can say that there is some really amazing stuff in my life, in terms of education and health services and more food and water and electricity than we know what to do with, but also some really crappy stuff, like the rampant individualism and stark institutional, impersonal, sterile, don't-talk-to-the-people-on-the-bus, fear-the-people-downtown situations that I live in. And many people who don't have access to the education and healthcare and food and water and electricity that I was born with live in community with the people in their lives, to the point that the things we see as 'good things to do'- talking to the neighbours, playing with the other kids, attending *religious institution*, visiting friends, looking after family members- are just things that people do. And I don't mean the self-righteous 'that's just what we do here *mental pat on the back*', but *confused look* 'yeah...of course that's what we do...how else could we live' (I mean, would the word 'community' even exist, I wonder, if it's so intrinsic to your life that you are aware of nothing BUT community?) But out of these two situations, only one of us is overtly taking advantage of the good things that the other has limited access to.
Ugh. That took a ridiculously long time to write. *dies*
I wish that I was more thankful for the blessings I have in life. Seriously, I am so stupidly priveledged, it's actually mindboggling to try and face the whole scope of it. Not even looking at the big stuff, all of the ginormous benefits I received simply for the cosmic accident of me being born in North America (I was born in a giant, sterilised, latex-gloved, disposable-gown, million-dollar technology-equipped hospital. There are places in the world that have never seen running water. Sounds cliche, but just think about that for a moment.) Even in North America I was born to well-educated, white, middle-class, english-speaking parents; some other lottery wins that have afforded me powers that I don't even know. And within that, my parents wanted children, they loved me and were able to care for me, had been afforded good family backgrounds themselves, allowing them to become excellent parents. Because of things that I did not choose nor did I earn, I grew up with EDUCATION, and I never appreciated it. School was a chore, while there are kids all over the world who work like stink and love doing it, being so grateful to have the opportunity to be in school in the first place. Now I'm in UNIVERSITY, taking a FREE YEAR with money enough in the bank for at least another year, probably two, which is absolutely, unfathomably ridiculous from so many points of view. People I know want to be in university but can't afford it. Others I know are in university but struggling to afford it. Others I know are in university but working half their time to afford it. Still others are in university, working half their time to afford it AND providing for a family. So obviously I'm in a crazy priveledged position, even in CANADA. Not only in Canada, but in ALBERTA, where there is WORK. There are so many places where there is no work to be found, in Canada and around the world. And in so very many places, in Calgary, in Alberta, in Canada, in North America, on the rest of the PLANET there are people who would give anything to go to university. And yet, here I sit, at my laptop computer, after midnight, avoiding a paper that is overdue. It's absolutely ridiculous. How many of the aforementioned people, who would be in heaven if they found out that there were finances and resources and circumstances allowing them to go to university, how many would EVER be caught dead taking such reckless advantage of that gift by procrastinating on an overdue assignment? Just try seeing this situation from the perspective of a young girl in the Southern hemisphere, in a country of the two-thirds world, whose culture barely recognises women, whose government doesn't fund schools, whose parents struggle to find jobs, whose country is basically owned by the world bank and IMF and impoverished by colonial-era trading practises- it is absolutely ridiculous.
Now, that isn't to say that everything in North America is rosy and heaven. I really do question the whole "they have nothing" thing that one so often hears, when it is obvious that with the amount of deep community and belonging that exists, and the cohesiveness and not-even-questioned generosity and selfless sharing that I hear about from every single person coming back from these areas, that "they" have something incredibly precious that "we" have no concept of. Taking all this into account- the immense, immeasurable value that exists in the lives and cultures of people around the world, even in impoverished or 'underdeveloped' areas of the world- I think we can say that there is some really amazing stuff in my life, in terms of education and health services and more food and water and electricity than we know what to do with, but also some really crappy stuff, like the rampant individualism and stark institutional, impersonal, sterile, don't-talk-to-the-people-on-the-bus, fear-the-people-downtown situations that I live in. And many people who don't have access to the education and healthcare and food and water and electricity that I was born with live in community with the people in their lives, to the point that the things we see as 'good things to do'- talking to the neighbours, playing with the other kids, attending *religious institution*, visiting friends, looking after family members- are just things that people do. And I don't mean the self-righteous 'that's just what we do here *mental pat on the back*', but *confused look* 'yeah...of course that's what we do...how else could we live' (I mean, would the word 'community' even exist, I wonder, if it's so intrinsic to your life that you are aware of nothing BUT community?) But out of these two situations, only one of us is overtly taking advantage of the good things that the other has limited access to.
Ugh. That took a ridiculously long time to write. *dies*
Monday, March 26, 2007
Last week sucked.
Just needed to say that right off the top. You know how people talk about being so busy they can't think, and are just running on auto pilot like maniacs and sometimes become addicted to busy-ness to distract them from their lives? Well, for the first time in my life I truly understand the meaning of this kind of busy. Yes, I have experienced being busy before, and crazy stressed, but I've never been to the point where I actually don't feel anything because my life feels like a million incidents scattered at random throughout a day. I don't know, maybe others are used to it, but it really distressed me.
Pretty much I was at a meeting or event every evening for the past week and a bit, not getting home until 10 pm at the earliest while at the same time studying for 2 midterms. Doesn't sound like much, I know, but it really was insane. The Sunday before last I went to this thing called Holden evening prayer, which is hosted by U of C campus ministry every Sunday evening; it's basically a very nice contemplative service of sorts that I've attended a few times now. Anyway, we were doing a check-in and Klaus (the Lutheran chaplain) said something about being 'retardedly busy', as in we must be retarded to be so busy. While I hate the term 'retarded' as a descriptive term for 'crazy' or 'stupid' with a fiery passion, I think the intention of the statement is really very indicative of how I felt last week. Needless to say, I'm SO happy that it's over, and SO grateful that my experience of that kind of busy lasted only a week instead of the years that oh so many others spend in this state of 'organisational zombie'.
So I was looking at your comment Hermy, and shall reply in this post rather than in the comments area because I'm cool like that. It would actually be amazing if people were to come to Naramata this summer. Unfortunately it's massively expensive to stay, at least if you're doing the whole day program and accommodation at the Centre-thing and whatnot, but I shall give the website hence so that you may peruse: www.naramatacentre.net. Yes, it's an incredible place. There are other options as well, such as staying overnight in accommodations within the village of Naramata, or perhaps going to Penticton and making a daytrip to Naramata or even staying at the centre but not doing the program. But yes, I must say the slightest notion of a possibility of seeing friendslies at Naramata makes me excessively glad, even though I have no idea how likely that is :)
Anywhom, I'm currently in this evil little flourescent-lighted, computer filled classroom-lab thing off the library with white walls and no windows. It has this eery, sickeningly-sweet smell to it and is one of those places where, if you stay too long it makes you question whether being alive is really all that great. I dread entering it but I needed to print off these pdf files and all the library computers are taken. But of course, right above the printer it says 'Please do not print pdf documents in this classroom', but by the time I saw it I'd already logged on and it felt like a waste to log off right away. So now you all know the circumstances under which this post came about, but I have to leave seeing as it's 6 pm and I'm feeling a little suicidal (don't worry, after a little natural light I'll be fine). Toodles!
Pretty much I was at a meeting or event every evening for the past week and a bit, not getting home until 10 pm at the earliest while at the same time studying for 2 midterms. Doesn't sound like much, I know, but it really was insane. The Sunday before last I went to this thing called Holden evening prayer, which is hosted by U of C campus ministry every Sunday evening; it's basically a very nice contemplative service of sorts that I've attended a few times now. Anyway, we were doing a check-in and Klaus (the Lutheran chaplain) said something about being 'retardedly busy', as in we must be retarded to be so busy. While I hate the term 'retarded' as a descriptive term for 'crazy' or 'stupid' with a fiery passion, I think the intention of the statement is really very indicative of how I felt last week. Needless to say, I'm SO happy that it's over, and SO grateful that my experience of that kind of busy lasted only a week instead of the years that oh so many others spend in this state of 'organisational zombie'.
So I was looking at your comment Hermy, and shall reply in this post rather than in the comments area because I'm cool like that. It would actually be amazing if people were to come to Naramata this summer. Unfortunately it's massively expensive to stay, at least if you're doing the whole day program and accommodation at the Centre-thing and whatnot, but I shall give the website hence so that you may peruse: www.naramatacentre.net. Yes, it's an incredible place. There are other options as well, such as staying overnight in accommodations within the village of Naramata, or perhaps going to Penticton and making a daytrip to Naramata or even staying at the centre but not doing the program. But yes, I must say the slightest notion of a possibility of seeing friendslies at Naramata makes me excessively glad, even though I have no idea how likely that is :)
Anywhom, I'm currently in this evil little flourescent-lighted, computer filled classroom-lab thing off the library with white walls and no windows. It has this eery, sickeningly-sweet smell to it and is one of those places where, if you stay too long it makes you question whether being alive is really all that great. I dread entering it but I needed to print off these pdf files and all the library computers are taken. But of course, right above the printer it says 'Please do not print pdf documents in this classroom', but by the time I saw it I'd already logged on and it felt like a waste to log off right away. So now you all know the circumstances under which this post came about, but I have to leave seeing as it's 6 pm and I'm feeling a little suicidal (don't worry, after a little natural light I'll be fine). Toodles!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Yay, my vow of silence is over!!!
That's why I haven't posted since the 21st of February. Because that was the day that I got the fabulous news and since then have thought of nothing to write about besides that. But since you're all thoroughly confused, I shall henceforth tell you said news: I'M GOING TO BE ON SUMMER STAFF AT NARAMATA!!! *dies*. I suppose that perhaps that still doesn't mean anything to many reading this besides Kes and Jo. It pretty much means that I'm going to be spending two months at Naramata Centre in Naramata BC, which is about the most incredible place on the planet, working with kiddies and planning worship and living in community with other summer staffers and having an excellent time over all. For those who have never been, I stole some photos off the internet of my future surroundings:
The Beach at sunset. This is Lake Okanagan, by the way.
Part of the Labyrinth with the Chapel in the background
The Chapel, and part of the Sacred Garden
Alberta Hall, where I shall be living for July and August.
Wow, that just took an absurd amount of time. Anyway, yes, it's beautiful beyond belief, and there are cherries in July and plums in August, and really good people all the time. *dies* At the same time I'm terrified, because the Summer Staff are always amazing and I'm really rather skeptical as to my own capabilities in such a role. But I'm trying not to think about it. I should be more prepared by that time anyway, after having a couple more TUXIS conferences under my belt and perhaps getting some work with children and youth in the May and June months.
So, what else is there to say? This week seemed to go by really quick. I think part of it was the fact that I had a Geography midterm on Monday, which ate up about 12 hours of my life with last-day studying. Not entirely in a row, I did actually get some sleep, but I spent 4 hours straight in the morning, from 11 till the test at 3, getting things shoved into my brain. And, amazingly, I enjoyed it. Geography is actually a very interesting subject, but unfortunately it's also the one which I neglect most seeing as it has the fewest actual assignments or tests. Which doesn't say much for me; that I only study the things I have to. It's sadly true, even if I really am enjoying the study of something, I still only do what I absolutely must, and only at the last possible moment. Sigh. But I can now tell you where Kyrgystan is, and most of the countries in the African transition zone :). But getting back to my original topic, I find that when the week begins with something requiring intense brain power, the rest of the week tends to feel like a recovery period in which nothing much happens. Because I make sure that nothing much happens. Because I am tired, and feel like I have earned a break. Even if there are other things that need doing. Such as is the case this week (I have a Sociology paper and a Philosophy journal to do, both were due on Friday. Oops)
Well anyway, I'd better go to bed, seeing as it's actually NOT 10:30 as my computer says, it's technically 11:30. Well, I guess not technically, but functionally anyway. So everybody, enjoy life this next week, and remember to change your clocks :)
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
It's 7:58 again...
I can tell by the mysterious beeping of my mostly-dead watch. The watch face is totally blank and the only thing that works is the indiglo, and yet it has beeped everyday at 7:58 pm for about two years. It's rather eerie, I must say.
So, it's reading week and I should be, well, reading, but because it's me I haven't gotten around to anything of the sort. Actually, you know I don't think that there's been a single long weekend in my life where I haven't had good intentions for catching up, and likewise never a long weekend where I have actually achieved that end. I generally end up sitting around the entire day in my pyjamas, feeling like a sloth until Monday rolls around and I feel terrible about myself. Oh well, it's only Wednesday, and I have good intentions for the rest of the week. We'll see, maybe I'll make history :)
Last weekend was TUXIS, this front bench's first conference. It was weird. First of all, it was all rushed again because I'm stupid like that and didn't have my programming prepared earlier. And I actually had some authority. And there was actually stress for me, which has never happened at TUXIS before. But our programming actually went really well, on the second day we even got tears from some people (as in what we did was emotionally relevant in some way for them). That was the thing that Annette, the premier told Kathleen (Kerr) and I during Front Bench Retreat when the front four spoke to our department individually, that we needed to bring crying back to devos. So I guess we succeeded? But I also feel kind of really bad, because after our programming it seemed like the entire front bench exploded into a bunch of drama, so everyone was hurting and angry and upset and whatnot in their own little conflicts or insecurities, and I can't help but think of myself as somewhat responsible since I was half of the department which created the programming which put people in emotional moods, which always seems to lead to the surfacing of these things. But it was that whole hidden drama thing, where you see different people going from room to room with various others in various states of emotional anguish and you so badly want to make it all better but you don't even know what the problem is in the first place and know that it isn't your place to find out. Sigh. I guess that this is what people were talking about in the 'stages of TUXIS' where you both love and hate the parliament, it is your life but it ruins your life. But I guess that I really have it incredibly easy, comparatively speaking. I'm not actually a part of any of the conflict/ insecurity, and I don't get really stressed about anything so it's not like TUXIS stuff consumes me in the way it does some people. Wow, I guess that was a bunch of irrelevant info for yous alls. Sorry *sheepish grin*
Today was a really good day, but also a really bad day. I FINALLY got things all sorted out with Augustine, but it included a crazy long conversation that was heart wrenching and all that. Yeah, see, I came out to him earlier, as in a couple of weeks (?) ago, and he took it relatively well, but he was under the impression that he could change me and I am this way because it was something I had convinced myself of and that if I just opened myself to the idea, he could change me. Needless to say I'm really not looking to go back to the whole 'God make me straight'-thing, because I've been there and it's absolute anguish, and I've come to accept myself and I like being in this place. But I suppose I was rather ambiguous, and didn't say outright that 'no, I'm not willing to try to change'. But we finally got to that point today, and I think I broke his heart. I feel awful, but also very liberated seeing as he finally understands that 'just friends' actually means 'just friends, and only friends'. But man, we had to go through so much just to get to that point. It was exhausting. As in, digging up stuff like is it actually possible to make yourself love someone (I say no, he says yes), and would it actually be wrong for me to call him my boyfriend when I have no feelings for him (I say yes, he says no). So yeah, I'm really glad it's over, but I also feel like I broke up with him and he's crushed. Which is a little bit funny, since I tried to make it clear from the beginning that we're NOT dating, and said it so many times, and yet in the end I still ended up hurting him as much as I would have had we been dating. UGH!
So anyway, that's all I have to say today. Speak at you kids later (love and hugs),
RAT
So, it's reading week and I should be, well, reading, but because it's me I haven't gotten around to anything of the sort. Actually, you know I don't think that there's been a single long weekend in my life where I haven't had good intentions for catching up, and likewise never a long weekend where I have actually achieved that end. I generally end up sitting around the entire day in my pyjamas, feeling like a sloth until Monday rolls around and I feel terrible about myself. Oh well, it's only Wednesday, and I have good intentions for the rest of the week. We'll see, maybe I'll make history :)
Last weekend was TUXIS, this front bench's first conference. It was weird. First of all, it was all rushed again because I'm stupid like that and didn't have my programming prepared earlier. And I actually had some authority. And there was actually stress for me, which has never happened at TUXIS before. But our programming actually went really well, on the second day we even got tears from some people (as in what we did was emotionally relevant in some way for them). That was the thing that Annette, the premier told Kathleen (Kerr) and I during Front Bench Retreat when the front four spoke to our department individually, that we needed to bring crying back to devos. So I guess we succeeded? But I also feel kind of really bad, because after our programming it seemed like the entire front bench exploded into a bunch of drama, so everyone was hurting and angry and upset and whatnot in their own little conflicts or insecurities, and I can't help but think of myself as somewhat responsible since I was half of the department which created the programming which put people in emotional moods, which always seems to lead to the surfacing of these things. But it was that whole hidden drama thing, where you see different people going from room to room with various others in various states of emotional anguish and you so badly want to make it all better but you don't even know what the problem is in the first place and know that it isn't your place to find out. Sigh. I guess that this is what people were talking about in the 'stages of TUXIS' where you both love and hate the parliament, it is your life but it ruins your life. But I guess that I really have it incredibly easy, comparatively speaking. I'm not actually a part of any of the conflict/ insecurity, and I don't get really stressed about anything so it's not like TUXIS stuff consumes me in the way it does some people. Wow, I guess that was a bunch of irrelevant info for yous alls. Sorry *sheepish grin*
Today was a really good day, but also a really bad day. I FINALLY got things all sorted out with Augustine, but it included a crazy long conversation that was heart wrenching and all that. Yeah, see, I came out to him earlier, as in a couple of weeks (?) ago, and he took it relatively well, but he was under the impression that he could change me and I am this way because it was something I had convinced myself of and that if I just opened myself to the idea, he could change me. Needless to say I'm really not looking to go back to the whole 'God make me straight'-thing, because I've been there and it's absolute anguish, and I've come to accept myself and I like being in this place. But I suppose I was rather ambiguous, and didn't say outright that 'no, I'm not willing to try to change'. But we finally got to that point today, and I think I broke his heart. I feel awful, but also very liberated seeing as he finally understands that 'just friends' actually means 'just friends, and only friends'. But man, we had to go through so much just to get to that point. It was exhausting. As in, digging up stuff like is it actually possible to make yourself love someone (I say no, he says yes), and would it actually be wrong for me to call him my boyfriend when I have no feelings for him (I say yes, he says no). So yeah, I'm really glad it's over, but I also feel like I broke up with him and he's crushed. Which is a little bit funny, since I tried to make it clear from the beginning that we're NOT dating, and said it so many times, and yet in the end I still ended up hurting him as much as I would have had we been dating. UGH!
So anyway, that's all I have to say today. Speak at you kids later (love and hugs),
RAT
Monday, February 5, 2007
Just for you, Kesinee
Yes, a posty! Oh my goodness, the Rat lives! Yeah, so I know it's been over a month, but you all also know that it's me, so not much of a surprise.
So, as of late: school is going pretty well. Most of my classes are rather blah, but my ethics class is really interesting and awesome and all that. So I've basically decided that I should really be looking into the humanities rather than the social sciences as all of the classes that I've loved and have been crazy-interested in have been humanities courses (religious studies, film studies and philosophy). So for any of you who were hoping to live off of me, sorry to disappoint but I'm heading towards a life of unemployment and perpetual school-ness, so you may have to make other plans :). I have one friend again this term. His name is Augustine and he wants to be my suitor, which is massively awkward, but at least I have a friend.
This past weekend was the TUXIS front bench retreat, which was rather awesome. The last day and a half leading up to it was massively confusing and stressful, though, as I needed to book a ticket to Edmonton and somehow coordinate actually getting to the bus station with my stuff and somehow coordinate getting packed up at the other end and somehow manage to come up with 2 hours of devotions programming with Kathleen (Kerr), while also not failing my Sociology test on Friday. So it was good times, but it all worked out in the end. Kathleen and I did manage to make up some programming, and we also did not fail miserably at it and people seemed to not hate it, so perhaps this whole position might actually work out :) I guess we'll see.
Man, TUXIS is crazy. There were 15 people at this front bench retreat and they were all people who have been in TUXIS for a long time and are all people who really care about one another and are all mature people in leadership positions within the parliament, and yet in the course of one weekend there managed to be at least two fairly substantial conflicts and at least half of the people in tears at one point or another. And of course I have no idea what was going on or who was involved, I just know that people were upset for some reason or another. I think that the combination of really caring about something, really caring about each other and having 8 hours of sleep total in a weekend make such a gathering a breeding-pot for drama. But I have to say that it's pretty amazing that I was totally unaware of these little under-the-surface conflicts and tensions until this session, and am just now gaining entry into the wide-world of TUXIS interactions. It really is crazy how these things can function in a totally covert way, only really being seen if you're close to the right people at the right time. It totally blows my mind.
Anyway, I have an anthropology test tomorrow, so I'd better get to studying. I miss you and love you all,
Rat
So, as of late: school is going pretty well. Most of my classes are rather blah, but my ethics class is really interesting and awesome and all that. So I've basically decided that I should really be looking into the humanities rather than the social sciences as all of the classes that I've loved and have been crazy-interested in have been humanities courses (religious studies, film studies and philosophy). So for any of you who were hoping to live off of me, sorry to disappoint but I'm heading towards a life of unemployment and perpetual school-ness, so you may have to make other plans :). I have one friend again this term. His name is Augustine and he wants to be my suitor, which is massively awkward, but at least I have a friend.
This past weekend was the TUXIS front bench retreat, which was rather awesome. The last day and a half leading up to it was massively confusing and stressful, though, as I needed to book a ticket to Edmonton and somehow coordinate actually getting to the bus station with my stuff and somehow coordinate getting packed up at the other end and somehow manage to come up with 2 hours of devotions programming with Kathleen (Kerr), while also not failing my Sociology test on Friday. So it was good times, but it all worked out in the end. Kathleen and I did manage to make up some programming, and we also did not fail miserably at it and people seemed to not hate it, so perhaps this whole position might actually work out :) I guess we'll see.
Man, TUXIS is crazy. There were 15 people at this front bench retreat and they were all people who have been in TUXIS for a long time and are all people who really care about one another and are all mature people in leadership positions within the parliament, and yet in the course of one weekend there managed to be at least two fairly substantial conflicts and at least half of the people in tears at one point or another. And of course I have no idea what was going on or who was involved, I just know that people were upset for some reason or another. I think that the combination of really caring about something, really caring about each other and having 8 hours of sleep total in a weekend make such a gathering a breeding-pot for drama. But I have to say that it's pretty amazing that I was totally unaware of these little under-the-surface conflicts and tensions until this session, and am just now gaining entry into the wide-world of TUXIS interactions. It really is crazy how these things can function in a totally covert way, only really being seen if you're close to the right people at the right time. It totally blows my mind.
Anyway, I have an anthropology test tomorrow, so I'd better get to studying. I miss you and love you all,
Rat
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
In Ratty's world, it's still December
I need to flip the page on my calendar.
So I actually cleaned my room. Sort of. I cleared off my desk at least, so now I no longer have to complain about how much my back hurts as I can sit in a chair at my computer like a normal person. But the state of my room would still fit in most people's category of 'appalling', so I'm not really done, but seeing as it was previously 'natural disaster' I'm feeling pretty good.
We went out to Canmore on Saturday afternoon and came back Sunday afternoon (that was a good story, Ratty). Basically, we drove out in our car, parked in the underground parking of the hotel we were staying in, watched some tv in the hotel room, went downstairs to eat at the restaurant on the main floor, went back upstairs, watched a bit more tv, went hot tubbing, watched another old movie then went to bed. In the morning we got up, had breakfast while watching the news, went downstairs to the underground parking again then drove on back home. So pretty much we went out to the mountains so that we could sleep in a very nice hotel room. Which kind of really depresses me. It was a very nice hotel room, however. There were two bedrooms and two bathrooms, the ensuite of which had a shower big enough for 3 people. But anyway, it scares me that we drove out of the city in order to be away from the city, and yet the most contact I actually had with the outdoors was for 20 minutes in the outdoor hottub. I'm turning into such a Calgarian.
It's quite astounding how very alone the inernet can make one feel. It's that whole 'there are so many people around me and yet I am so isolated' syndrome-type thing. See, I was on facebook stalking people like one does on facebook, and was surprised by the deep feeling of loneliness welling up within me. And I don't often feel lonely, mind you, even in times where it would be appropriate. But I just randomly started really, really missing people. I guess it's mostly because I see (read: stalk) everyone and yet feel so far away because I never really contact them since I'm paranoid of the little tracker-thing that records my every action so that every person I know sees exactly what I've written anywhere on the site. Creep-ay. And as well it just seems kind of, I don't know, inappropriate to be having conversations with people on their 'walls' where every person can see exactly what you've said. I'm not used to this kind of mass-attention as a major introvert who purposely avoids circumstances of a similar nature in real life. Not that there are similar circumstances in real life. It's also funny that I feel more secure writing here, even though this site is more open to the public than facebook. I just can't see that in the same way, so I can easily pretend that it isn't true. Well, I guess the point is that I miss you all terribly, and maybe I should start going on msn or emailing or something so that I can have something at least somewhat closer to human contact.
I started classes today, as I'm sure most others did. I had Sociology, Ethics (a philosophy course) and World Regional Geography. I was really terrified of going back to school, to tell you the truth. I was afraid of the emptiness and anti-social hostility I felt at times last term. But it was all good. It's surprising how much meaning one prescribes to circumstances after they've occurred that really don't exist during the duration of the event. See, it wasn't often that I felt that cold loneliness outright at school last term, but any time I'd step back and evaluate my experiences after the fact, I'd see everything as dull and ugly and scary. But I'd forget how much I absolutely loved the things that I was learning and how kind the professors were and the depth and bredth of knowledge I gained. So really, life isn't that bad, only when I really think about it. But hopefully this term will be better.
Anyway, I grow weary of this post.
So I actually cleaned my room. Sort of. I cleared off my desk at least, so now I no longer have to complain about how much my back hurts as I can sit in a chair at my computer like a normal person. But the state of my room would still fit in most people's category of 'appalling', so I'm not really done, but seeing as it was previously 'natural disaster' I'm feeling pretty good.
We went out to Canmore on Saturday afternoon and came back Sunday afternoon (that was a good story, Ratty). Basically, we drove out in our car, parked in the underground parking of the hotel we were staying in, watched some tv in the hotel room, went downstairs to eat at the restaurant on the main floor, went back upstairs, watched a bit more tv, went hot tubbing, watched another old movie then went to bed. In the morning we got up, had breakfast while watching the news, went downstairs to the underground parking again then drove on back home. So pretty much we went out to the mountains so that we could sleep in a very nice hotel room. Which kind of really depresses me. It was a very nice hotel room, however. There were two bedrooms and two bathrooms, the ensuite of which had a shower big enough for 3 people. But anyway, it scares me that we drove out of the city in order to be away from the city, and yet the most contact I actually had with the outdoors was for 20 minutes in the outdoor hottub. I'm turning into such a Calgarian.
It's quite astounding how very alone the inernet can make one feel. It's that whole 'there are so many people around me and yet I am so isolated' syndrome-type thing. See, I was on facebook stalking people like one does on facebook, and was surprised by the deep feeling of loneliness welling up within me. And I don't often feel lonely, mind you, even in times where it would be appropriate. But I just randomly started really, really missing people. I guess it's mostly because I see (read: stalk) everyone and yet feel so far away because I never really contact them since I'm paranoid of the little tracker-thing that records my every action so that every person I know sees exactly what I've written anywhere on the site. Creep-ay. And as well it just seems kind of, I don't know, inappropriate to be having conversations with people on their 'walls' where every person can see exactly what you've said. I'm not used to this kind of mass-attention as a major introvert who purposely avoids circumstances of a similar nature in real life. Not that there are similar circumstances in real life. It's also funny that I feel more secure writing here, even though this site is more open to the public than facebook. I just can't see that in the same way, so I can easily pretend that it isn't true. Well, I guess the point is that I miss you all terribly, and maybe I should start going on msn or emailing or something so that I can have something at least somewhat closer to human contact.
I started classes today, as I'm sure most others did. I had Sociology, Ethics (a philosophy course) and World Regional Geography. I was really terrified of going back to school, to tell you the truth. I was afraid of the emptiness and anti-social hostility I felt at times last term. But it was all good. It's surprising how much meaning one prescribes to circumstances after they've occurred that really don't exist during the duration of the event. See, it wasn't often that I felt that cold loneliness outright at school last term, but any time I'd step back and evaluate my experiences after the fact, I'd see everything as dull and ugly and scary. But I'd forget how much I absolutely loved the things that I was learning and how kind the professors were and the depth and bredth of knowledge I gained. So really, life isn't that bad, only when I really think about it. But hopefully this term will be better.
Anyway, I grow weary of this post.
Eye ahm baaa-aaaaack!!!
And apparently not going anywheres. Me mams and paps are both real sick, so today we aborted the idea of going to Regina. Which makes me sad, but I guess it's rather necessary, as if we went we'd be going bearing kind gifts of disease for mes grandparents, which really isn't fair. So as of now I'm being super-consciencious about washing hands, taking cold FX, covering my hands while handling oft-used things (ie cupboard handles), etc., etc., as I REALLY don't want to catch this thing. Although I have a cryptic feeling that it's inevitable. Stupid germs!
I'm Deputy Minister of Devotions!!! *Sqeal*!!! This makes me so happy, you wouldn't even believe. And Kathleen (Kerr) is my Minister, which is pretty much amazing. I don't know how many friendslies know about what this means so I shall now launch into a boring TUXIS-nerd spiel: pretty much TUXIS is divided into the front bench and the back bench. Front bench members are those who run the parliament in various capacities. The front bench positions are as follows: Premier, Deputy Premier, Leader of the Opposition, Alternate Leader of the Opposition, minister and deputy of membership, Devotions, Social Action, Publications, External Affairs and Publicity, Finance, Provincial Secretary and Deputy Provincial Secretary. Out of these, Membership, Devotions and Social Action are all programming departments, as in they're directly responsible for creating and administering activities at conferences and session, while the rest are administrative positions that work more behind the scenes. Anyway, everyone on Front Bench is appointed by the newly elected front four (Premier, DP, LofO and ALofO) after those interested in front bench positions fill out and submit a form to the new Premier.
So while I really wanted to be deputy of either Devotions or Social Action, I really, really wasn't expecting either of these as the programming departments are the ones that most people are interested in, and I was rather doubting my ability to get on Front Bench at all given my significant lack of skills in meeting people in TUXIS and speaking in the house and actually attending events. So I was delighted when Annette (the new premier) came to get me in the morning (which meant that I was going to be getting a position), and ecstatic when I was told that they wanted me to be deputy of devotions and that Kathleen would be my minister. See, as I was considering what it would be like to be on front bench, I was thinking about how it would be absolutley necessary for me to be in contact with my minister, and how I'd need to communicate if it felt like my minister and I weren't working well together, both things that I wasn't sure I'd actually be able to do. But since the person I'm working with is one of my goodest friends, I really don't forsee these things being a problem.
I had so much fun at Session!! It was basically amazing. I was working as Parliamentary Secretary to the Deputy Premier which meant that I had a lot more contact with the front bench, which gave me a much different view on how TUXIS operates. I had no idea how much emotional energy people put into their work with the parliament, and how much work went into making sure that things happen, things that I took for granted. And I had no idea how attached one can get to people in the course of 5 days living and working together. I'm really looking forward to this next year being on front bench, I have to say.
Anyway, my mom is watching Babar and it's distracting me, so I hope to talk to y'alls soon. Toodles,
Ratty
I'm Deputy Minister of Devotions!!! *Sqeal*!!! This makes me so happy, you wouldn't even believe. And Kathleen (Kerr) is my Minister, which is pretty much amazing. I don't know how many friendslies know about what this means so I shall now launch into a boring TUXIS-nerd spiel: pretty much TUXIS is divided into the front bench and the back bench. Front bench members are those who run the parliament in various capacities. The front bench positions are as follows: Premier, Deputy Premier, Leader of the Opposition, Alternate Leader of the Opposition, minister and deputy of membership, Devotions, Social Action, Publications, External Affairs and Publicity, Finance, Provincial Secretary and Deputy Provincial Secretary. Out of these, Membership, Devotions and Social Action are all programming departments, as in they're directly responsible for creating and administering activities at conferences and session, while the rest are administrative positions that work more behind the scenes. Anyway, everyone on Front Bench is appointed by the newly elected front four (Premier, DP, LofO and ALofO) after those interested in front bench positions fill out and submit a form to the new Premier.
So while I really wanted to be deputy of either Devotions or Social Action, I really, really wasn't expecting either of these as the programming departments are the ones that most people are interested in, and I was rather doubting my ability to get on Front Bench at all given my significant lack of skills in meeting people in TUXIS and speaking in the house and actually attending events. So I was delighted when Annette (the new premier) came to get me in the morning (which meant that I was going to be getting a position), and ecstatic when I was told that they wanted me to be deputy of devotions and that Kathleen would be my minister. See, as I was considering what it would be like to be on front bench, I was thinking about how it would be absolutley necessary for me to be in contact with my minister, and how I'd need to communicate if it felt like my minister and I weren't working well together, both things that I wasn't sure I'd actually be able to do. But since the person I'm working with is one of my goodest friends, I really don't forsee these things being a problem.
I had so much fun at Session!! It was basically amazing. I was working as Parliamentary Secretary to the Deputy Premier which meant that I had a lot more contact with the front bench, which gave me a much different view on how TUXIS operates. I had no idea how much emotional energy people put into their work with the parliament, and how much work went into making sure that things happen, things that I took for granted. And I had no idea how attached one can get to people in the course of 5 days living and working together. I'm really looking forward to this next year being on front bench, I have to say.
Anyway, my mom is watching Babar and it's distracting me, so I hope to talk to y'alls soon. Toodles,
Ratty
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