Because I haven't posted in a while...

I have snatched the questions from Tyger's blog as they seem to cover all the main bases :)

1) What have you been up to?
Work, mostly. And slowly, slowly filling out my Winter Session application. And a fair amount of church-stuff.

2) How goes home-age, and school-age, and other assorted '-ages'?
Home-age is pretty fantastic, if I do say so myself. I introduced weekly family check-ins after Naramata and I think it's been working wonders for our family dynamics. The general feeling in the house is just generally less stressful- ie: I don't feel like people are harbouring stress and resentment and are likely to explode/ have their own quiet breakdown, because people are actually talking about their feelings. Hooray!
School-age is non-existent, which is something I miss sometimes when I really think about it. But I almost never think about it.
Work-age is... a lot of things. First of all, the last two weeks have just been a lot in general- from learning how to get around the building (which has 8 floors and it takes three elevators to get from ground level to the top. It's built laterally up a hill, if that helps you make sense of this. It actually reminds me somewhat of Hogwarts, in that there are some stairwells that only go up and some that only go down and only one elevator that goes to the fourth floor and secret codes to get in and out of places and a giant courtyard-greenhouse thing in the centre of it all. Haha, I had this great time on the second day, trying to get from the cafeteria on the first floor back to the rec offices on the fifth. I tried taking the stairs, and actually thought I was trapped because the stairwell ended at an elevator that only went to parking and the doors to all the previous floors appeared to be locked [little did I know that I needed to press the little 'door release' button]. So I had to go back down to level one, take the elevator up to level three, walk to a stairwell I thought I could take, use a code to get into said stairwell, find out that the stairs in that stairwell only went down, walk around to another elevator which finally got me back to level 5 *huge tangent-ed*), to actually knowing what my job entails. And there has been a lot of getting used to what it's like to interact with dementia patients- it is surprisingly stressful to try and figure out how to respond to someone who answers a question like 'would you like to come to organ music?' with something that has nothing to do with the present situation, or to try and calm someone whose distress has its source in their own world, a world that I have no access to. Basically, long-term care is an environment that is totally different from anywhere I've spent any significant amount of time before and I'm learning loads.
And it turns out that I'm not so much 'assisting' the Rec therapists as running/ supporting all the programs on a particular unit, and helping out with centre-wide programming. So it's a bigger job than I thought, but also more self-directed, which I'm rather thankful for. Especially today, with it being my first day of not-shadowing others and I think I would have died of pressure if there was someone else there watching me who would know all the things I was doing wrong. From all I've heard from my co-workers, it's very much a learn-as-you-go type of deal, and I'm just glad that there's no one there to witness me learning by trial and error.
I'm trying not to think of TUXIS-age because I realise that I'm ready to not have it in my life anymore. It's not that TUXIS is bad, it's just that it's something I realise I've grown away from. I don't want to debate anymore, I don't want to be around tuxis-drama anymore, I don't want to feel this oppressive obligation to an organisation that does nothing for me at this point in my life. I just feel like there is all this stuff that I MUST do because I have a front bench position, but that, for the sake of my own sanity, I must not do. More than anything else, I really don't want to go to session this year because even being at conferences has been difficult for me- seeing that I have pretty much nothing in common with other tuxins, and in fact finding some of my core values in conflict with the way I see tuxis operating (not in a self-righteous way. Just in a 'I know that this matters to me more than it matters to you and I don't want to ask you to change anything just because I don't like it- but I don't think I can be around it anymore')- and I fear that 6 intensive days where heirarchy, patriarchal attitudes, unintentional exculsion and conservative religious and political views are quite prevalent will make me feel incredibly isolated as a fiercely egalitarian, gay, feminist, community-oriented, 'gaia-worshipping-wiccan-buddhist-christian' far-leftist . It also means that I likely won't be able to go to Regina for the third Christmas in a row. It's been so, so long since I've seen my extended family and the thought of spending even more time away hurts me a lot, and probably would hurt my grandparents even more.

3) What colour socks are you wearing right now?
Blue. They have sheepsies on them :)

4) Do you have any grand expedition plans in the works?
Not at the moment. I've sort of been somewhat pondering how I might get to Victoria for New Year's Eve so that I might go to the summer staff '07 New Year's gathering. Which I would really, really love to get to, but I don't know if it would be possible, again, given that TUXIS is supposed to run from the 26th to the 31st of December. Bah.

5) What did you have for breakfast this morning?
Cheesy bread sticks that my mom made. They are delightful :)

6) Am I learning any new instruments this year?
Well, funny you should ask. My brother brought the recorders up from the basement just this evening, and I've almost re-mastered 'engine, engine number 9' *snickerwheeze*.

7) Is Mary still my flute teacher?
Yes. Only her name's not actually Mary. And she doesn't teach me the flute. Or any other musical instrument. She doesn't teach me anything at all, really.

8) Am I wearing underwear?
Yes. Wait...Yes.

9) Am I doing much besides school?
Well, I'm doing most everything BUT school. Only that's a lie, for at the moment I'm not doing really anything besides work. But I hope to change that, now that I'm a bit less shell-shocked.

10) Please spiel about the foods you have been building: Well, actually, the only food I think I've built in the last two weeks was Kraft Dinner on Sunday and I think a salad or two. Us offspring are doing shared meal preparation twice per week rather than singular meal preparation once per week, and since my shift ends at 5 pm most days and I don't get home till at least 6 or 6.30, there's been more 'sibling makes supper, Hannah cleans up' of late.

So writing all of this was probably not the most wise decision, for it is now past midnight, and I've really been needing my sleep these days. But it feels good to be in semi-contact with you folks. And I've been thinking an awful lot about calling you people- it's just been that I'm still getting accustomed to having only 4 or 5 hours of my own time after having days and weeks to myself- ie I keep accidentally wasting my evenings cause I'm not used to having them be so short. So anyway, I do hope that all of you are doing well, and I plan on talking to you soon :)

-Ratty

Born to Hand-Jive, Baby...

Yup, I have that song stuck in my head. Oh, Grease, my first musical obsession. See, I have this odd relationship with musical productions, particularly movie-musicals (but that's probably because it is with these that I've had the most experience). I'll see the production, often without really intending to, then I'll have the songs playing over and over in my head for about two days straight. And after this period, I become obsessed. Even if I didn't particularly enjoy- heck, even if I hated a musical number the first time I heard it, I'll be totally in love with it after the 'earworm period'. So then I download all the songs and listen to them more times, continuing to have them running a non-stop loop in my head, only getting gradually more defined as I learn all the lyrics. This period lasts for about a week, sometimes more if I really, really liked the musical. Then the obsession gradually fades, but I forever hold the lyrics in my brain and get such an excited, jubilant feeling whenever one of the songs shows up again in my life. This seems to be the cycle with every musical I experience- starting with my long-running and intense love-affair with Grease, then my great obsession with Chicago, followed by certain Gilbert and Sullivan numbers, Fiddler on the Roof (funny, it never happened for Guys and Dolls- probably because none of the songs in my head were put there of my own accord, so I forever associate "you can bet that he's doin' it for some dolls..." with science class and Mark Shultz and irritation on the bus or West Coast rather than the actual production), Annie get your Gun (and that one was only partial, again given the association of certain songs in my mind with the library and Marek), RENT, Westside Story (only a little, I think because the cycle was interrupted by seeing the production numerous times, so I became more attached to the actual production than the musical numbers), Singin' in the Rain, Harvey Girls (but only that one song, you know, "the Atchinson, Topeka and the Santa Fe"); even movies that had songs in them but weren't musicals like A Mighty Wind, A Goofy Movie and Veggie Tales make it onto the list. You know what I just realised- I think that this is a fairly normal pattern for people to go through, only they generally go through it with particular musical albums. The reason why it's musicals for me is that I rarely listen to CDs, rarely enough that hymns and musicals have been the more consistent source of music throughout my life. That might be a little sad.

Actually, you know what's even more sad is I just spent about an hour writing on something I had no intention of going into. That whole paragraph was meant to be about two sentences of explanation. Anyway, the reason I started writing this blogpost is because I was filling out my Winter Session application and needed a break from the stress of permanent words on pages that will determine whether or not I get to do what I've desired doing and shaped my life around since hearing about it.... (*deep breath*), so I thought I'd do this. And I thought of doing this so that I might share a little bit of joy that I found the other day in my pile of old report cards...

So the story goes that in grade 4, each reporting period Mrs. Bishop had us write letters to her regarding how we felt were doing in terms of in-class behaviour, and this was included in our report card. I totally forgot about this until two days ago when I was looking through all my old report cards- the ultimate task was to find my immunization records but I was having more fun being distracted by learning about what I was like at various stages of childhood by teacher's comments. But anyway, in this second letter from grade 4 I found an astonishing sentence about halfway through:

"I find that I am quite good at learning in a group but you sometimes start saying something boring and it starts getting hard to focus on the topic"

Wha!!! I actually wrote that to my teacher?!! *snickerwheeze*. I have to say that sometimes I amaze myself. There was nothing mean-spirited about the comment, either, I was just being dreadfully honest. I doubt that I even considered that there might be something wrong with writing that. Oh, Hannah...

On an entirely different topic, I got the job I wanted! Yay! So I'm working at the Bethany Care Centre as a recreation attendant, which means that I my main job is to assist the recreational therapists in doing their work with the residents. My position summary from the website is as follows:

"The Recreation Attendant is accountable for providing recreation and leisure activities as scheduled and directed by the Recreation Therapist. The Recreation Attendant will work to ensure the continued organization and smooth running of new and ongoing programs/activities in accordance with Bethany Care Society’s philosophy, objectives and standards"

I start on Monday, and I'm super excited, while also being super-terrified! I think I'm more excited than frightened, though, so it's all good. The people I've talked to/met/been interviewed by at Bethany have all seemed really awesome- all informal and kind and helpful, so I'm looking forward to it :). Let's all give a grand 'hurrah!' for meaningful employment!

Yay, it's story time!

Time for another story from the Mang-Wooley Continuous-Writing Anthology! This one comes from our first round, where we each had one minute, were able to see the last person's portion and it went around 1 and a half times (the last person was given 3 minutes to finish the story). This time I shall indicate the changes in authorship with a "/", 'cause I think knowing the transitions makes it better:

There was once a lovely curvaceous bass guitar named Ruby. Ruby had a wonderful personality and her voice / rang out with the song of a thousand sparrows. Everyone in the land gathered from far and wide to hear Ruby sing. Even the King, who never cried/ came along. And hearing the beautiful meoldy for the first time, a single tear formed at the corner of his eye./ The bear was beautiful, elegant, and everything else good imaginable. His life had just got better, even better than the day he got married to Suzan. / Mind you, the day he married Susan was hardly what you'd call "elegant", standing in hip-waders in the middle of their favourite fly-fishing stream./ The church choir, made of the elderly Bennet sister, 2 sets of Everly twins and one of the Smiths from Buck street- stood on the shores of the stream, shivering and belting out "O Precious Love". / The audience didn't know how to react- they had never expereinced anything like this before. Finally, after what seemed like hours, a small boy joined in the song. Everyone else reacted immediately, as if they were jolted awake from a deep sleep. Everyone for miles around could hear the joyful hymn.

And since these ones are shorter, I shall grace you with another one from the first round:

Once upon a time there was a confused cat named Smee. Smee had very little idea what was going on most of the time./ In fact, most of the time good things were happening to Smee, but Smee didn't realise it. In fact, if Smee knew what was happening/, she would be so overjoyed that she would likely pop that nasty aneurysm that had been growing in her foot since the day she won the field-goal kicking contest. / She thought that if she could get rid of the annoyance she could focus on perfecting her dribbling technique. Her coach had been bugging her/ about his personal problems- how he was gaining weight despite running around all day, how he blacked out for hours at a time, waking up in a new place every morning/, and his horrible foot fungus. She could barely stand it.
"Well, that's awful, Sir, but I really must get on the train now"/
After that encounter, Suzan enjoyed the train ride home. She ate over a pound of biscuits and a gallon of tea while enjoying the scenery of the rolling hills of Scotland. It had been quite the day.

Hooray *clap, clap, clap*. Now off to see if I have a ride to this evening's 'function'. See y'alls later today :)