...because that was the first phrase I saw when I looked out into the landscape (landfill?) of my room for inspiration on a title.
Yes, I've been neglecting my blog, but no, I'm not going to apologise for it, I've decided. Because I feel guilty enough over enough other things, so while I feel bad that I'm basically abandoning you fellahs, I've also decided that I don't need to feel too awful about it. And I don't want to turn this into a place where every entry begins with 'I haven't posted in a long time'. Because those entries are boring. Speaking of which, if you look through my journal (which you won't, because I won't let you), there are places where that is always my opening statement, and whenever I read through I get angry at myself for wasting valuable paper-space and writing-time on something that the future-Ratty doesn't even care about anyway.
So today in lab we had to take urine samples (*woot!*). In fact, we had to take urine samples every 30 minutes. I tell ya, there's not much that can make class full of people more comfortable with one another than having each person sit there with cups of their own pee sitting in front of them for the whole world to see. I heard somewhere that friendships are forged only when people become vulnerable to one another, and I think that this qulifies as an example. Because really, in a situation like this one there are two choices: sit there looking sheepishly at the other people, awkwardly pretending that nothing happened, or start turning the cups of pee into a conversation topic. Our class took the latter route, and after the first sample everyone was already admiring Jolene's cup ("how is it so clear?"), comparing amounts of output and telling dehydration stories. And to add to that, there was the fact of mutual humiliation, where we all had the shared experience of trying to smuggle our samples out of the washroom without having anyone see the products of our mission. It was a good class.
I need-a go an' grate sum cheeze for my ma. Parchance I shall wrote more later,
RattigN
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Cheese Quakers
Look at this, two posts in two days! I know, I even surprise myself.
So, you know how my last post says '11:10 pm' or something like that (I can't see it at the moment)? Well, it lies. I actually wrote that at 1:20 in the morning, then proceeded to work until 2, then get up at 5 am. Good ol' Rat and her good ol' work habits. Some things never seem to change.
My back hurts. I know, isn't that incredible!? I just thought I'd let you know, because it actually says a lot about my life right now. My back hurts because of sitting on my bed full of textbooks and documents, working on my laptop in very limited space. The reason why this is my bodily position is because my desk is absolutely smothered in various items, as is my bureau, my hanging chair, the entire expanse of my floor except a narrow footpath from my door to my bed, and even my canopy. Actually from where I'm sitting, looking at the foot of my bed, it looks like there is a child of about 4 lying in the hammock-ish part of the canopy (you know, where the fabric kind of dips and rests over the foot board (or whatever you call the opposite if a headboard)), due to the amazing amount of stuff that I have placed in there for 'sorting later'. To tell you the truth, my room seems to be slowly creeping out the door as well. It's like an evil, living blob of doom that is slowly but surely going to take over the house. But the state of my room is actually a pretty good indicator of my life. It feels like there's this massive toxic cloud of things that need to be done, all of them urgent, all of them important, and my lack of dealing with them is hurting me. And this isn't just schoolwork, although various school things do make up a large portion of the smoggy mass. It also includes the infinitely more important and yet never making it to the top of the list-type things like communicating with my friends, especially the ones who have unanswered emails stagnating in my inbox, ones that I've ignored for weeks or even months. Or things like church committments that I've made, like preparing for Sunday School (which, by the way, has pretty much ended up being me scrambling to figure out the lesson 15 minutes before church starts each week). So there are all these things fluttering about, but my stupid ADD-brain cannot seem to slow them down enough to control them or deal with them in any effective manner. The cloud just continues to get thicker and thicker, ever so slowly descending, threatning to advance completely and choke me to death. The fact that finals are coming up in, oh, let's see...2 WEEKS is not helping matters at all, at all. Oh shoot, how am I going to do this!? *stress, sob*. Wowzahs, I kind of can't wait for this term to be over, so that I might have the chance of starting afresh, and yet at the same time I dread this term being over because it is the only thing I know right now and I fear change. And I'm loving my religious studies and film classes, which are utterly fascinating and I just want to keep learning about forever. But alas, next term has been chosen and neither subject is being repeated, so I shall have to learn to love sociology or anthropology or geography or introductory polisci.
Wow, emotional spillage and a half. Sorry, fellahs. This may have become my new journal, so beware of more melodrama :). Anyway, it magically has decided to become 10:22 (funny how time tends to do that), and I have to do at least one more thing before I go to bed so that that cloud doesn't choke me tonight. Toodles,
Ratty
P.S: if you're bored and/or procrastinating, may I present you with the best site ever: http://www.catsinsinks.com
So, you know how my last post says '11:10 pm' or something like that (I can't see it at the moment)? Well, it lies. I actually wrote that at 1:20 in the morning, then proceeded to work until 2, then get up at 5 am. Good ol' Rat and her good ol' work habits. Some things never seem to change.
My back hurts. I know, isn't that incredible!? I just thought I'd let you know, because it actually says a lot about my life right now. My back hurts because of sitting on my bed full of textbooks and documents, working on my laptop in very limited space. The reason why this is my bodily position is because my desk is absolutely smothered in various items, as is my bureau, my hanging chair, the entire expanse of my floor except a narrow footpath from my door to my bed, and even my canopy. Actually from where I'm sitting, looking at the foot of my bed, it looks like there is a child of about 4 lying in the hammock-ish part of the canopy (you know, where the fabric kind of dips and rests over the foot board (or whatever you call the opposite if a headboard)), due to the amazing amount of stuff that I have placed in there for 'sorting later'. To tell you the truth, my room seems to be slowly creeping out the door as well. It's like an evil, living blob of doom that is slowly but surely going to take over the house. But the state of my room is actually a pretty good indicator of my life. It feels like there's this massive toxic cloud of things that need to be done, all of them urgent, all of them important, and my lack of dealing with them is hurting me. And this isn't just schoolwork, although various school things do make up a large portion of the smoggy mass. It also includes the infinitely more important and yet never making it to the top of the list-type things like communicating with my friends, especially the ones who have unanswered emails stagnating in my inbox, ones that I've ignored for weeks or even months. Or things like church committments that I've made, like preparing for Sunday School (which, by the way, has pretty much ended up being me scrambling to figure out the lesson 15 minutes before church starts each week). So there are all these things fluttering about, but my stupid ADD-brain cannot seem to slow them down enough to control them or deal with them in any effective manner. The cloud just continues to get thicker and thicker, ever so slowly descending, threatning to advance completely and choke me to death. The fact that finals are coming up in, oh, let's see...2 WEEKS is not helping matters at all, at all. Oh shoot, how am I going to do this!? *stress, sob*. Wowzahs, I kind of can't wait for this term to be over, so that I might have the chance of starting afresh, and yet at the same time I dread this term being over because it is the only thing I know right now and I fear change. And I'm loving my religious studies and film classes, which are utterly fascinating and I just want to keep learning about forever. But alas, next term has been chosen and neither subject is being repeated, so I shall have to learn to love sociology or anthropology or geography or introductory polisci.
Wow, emotional spillage and a half. Sorry, fellahs. This may have become my new journal, so beware of more melodrama :). Anyway, it magically has decided to become 10:22 (funny how time tends to do that), and I have to do at least one more thing before I go to bed so that that cloud doesn't choke me tonight. Toodles,
Ratty
P.S: if you're bored and/or procrastinating, may I present you with the best site ever: http://www.catsinsinks.com
Wow, A blog
Imagine this, Ratty now has a blog! I never really thought that I would. Actually, I did entertain the thought for awhile but gave it up when I realised that there is really no way that I could be relied upon to ever post, ever. Basically I'm like that. I have to say, this is kind of intimidating. The format of this post-creating makes it appear that I'm just writing an innocent email message, when really I'm composing a set of words that is about to be broadcast to THE ENTIRE WORLD. What a concept. Really.
I picked up a book from the MRC library called Mediated, which is all about media and how it shapes our realities. It is facinating. If you ever have the chance to read anything media studies, do it. I've only read a wee bit of the book but aspects of it keep popping into my mind. Like right now, I'm thinking of this part that discusses how the opposite of reality is not false, it's option. The thing that is furthest from being real is having a choice. He gives the example of having your car break down in the middle of nowhere in Saskatchewan without a map or a cell phone or anything to do but sit and wait. Looking around you and suddenly realising with surprise that everything just so happens to be there, and none of it is for you. The grass, the bugs, those hills in the distance, the sky overhead, all just so happen to be there, have always been there and will continue to be there until we-can't-even-think-when, and you have no choice but to simply be there too. And suddenly you realise that this is real. This is the absolute apex of reality, when you are not the centre of anything, nothing is directed at you, you are an itty bitty part of an enormous whole that has no interest in you whatsoever, and the only choice you have is to be a part of it. So if you really think about it, this here, typing on this humming machine about my little snippet of life is about the furthest from reality that I can get. Directing my thoughts out into the constructed void of virtual technology, placing these words, heck, I don't even know where, thinking that maybe someone will happen to stumble upon them while cruising the information highwayof the e-web (perhaps the most infinite example of our western world's ability to choose, find, read, buy, hear, tell, see anything). (okay, I really didn't do the theory justice. I'd say, try finding the book yourself, it's by Thomas de Zengotita. Or don't. Whatever.)
So now that that's out there, to all you 'in the woods' gang, I can pretty much assure you that this is not going to be a frequently-updated mechanism of communication, because you all know me and you all know that I have no ability to manage my time to the point of committing to anyone or anything (which you must know is a source of great guilt, whenever I think about it). So I'm just going to apologise in advance now and not worry about apologising on each subsequent post, which we know will be invariably long-awaited. But maybe I'll get to posting a couple of times a week, or once a week, or once a month, but one way or another more often then you'd hear from me through any other channel :). Oh Ratty, why do you still have friends? Anywhom, for any interested parties, what I am procrastinating on at the moment (since you all know that I must be procrastinating on something if I'm actually doing this), is a model UN resolution that I need to have done for my PoliSci class tomorrow. It requires a tonne o' research that I get weary of mighty quick, and I really don't want to go back to doing it *whimper*. Sigh. Well. Here I go...
I picked up a book from the MRC library called Mediated, which is all about media and how it shapes our realities. It is facinating. If you ever have the chance to read anything media studies, do it. I've only read a wee bit of the book but aspects of it keep popping into my mind. Like right now, I'm thinking of this part that discusses how the opposite of reality is not false, it's option. The thing that is furthest from being real is having a choice. He gives the example of having your car break down in the middle of nowhere in Saskatchewan without a map or a cell phone or anything to do but sit and wait. Looking around you and suddenly realising with surprise that everything just so happens to be there, and none of it is for you. The grass, the bugs, those hills in the distance, the sky overhead, all just so happen to be there, have always been there and will continue to be there until we-can't-even-think-when, and you have no choice but to simply be there too. And suddenly you realise that this is real. This is the absolute apex of reality, when you are not the centre of anything, nothing is directed at you, you are an itty bitty part of an enormous whole that has no interest in you whatsoever, and the only choice you have is to be a part of it. So if you really think about it, this here, typing on this humming machine about my little snippet of life is about the furthest from reality that I can get. Directing my thoughts out into the constructed void of virtual technology, placing these words, heck, I don't even know where, thinking that maybe someone will happen to stumble upon them while cruising the information highwayof the e-web (perhaps the most infinite example of our western world's ability to choose, find, read, buy, hear, tell, see anything). (okay, I really didn't do the theory justice. I'd say, try finding the book yourself, it's by Thomas de Zengotita. Or don't. Whatever.)
So now that that's out there, to all you 'in the woods' gang, I can pretty much assure you that this is not going to be a frequently-updated mechanism of communication, because you all know me and you all know that I have no ability to manage my time to the point of committing to anyone or anything (which you must know is a source of great guilt, whenever I think about it). So I'm just going to apologise in advance now and not worry about apologising on each subsequent post, which we know will be invariably long-awaited. But maybe I'll get to posting a couple of times a week, or once a week, or once a month, but one way or another more often then you'd hear from me through any other channel :). Oh Ratty, why do you still have friends? Anywhom, for any interested parties, what I am procrastinating on at the moment (since you all know that I must be procrastinating on something if I'm actually doing this), is a model UN resolution that I need to have done for my PoliSci class tomorrow. It requires a tonne o' research that I get weary of mighty quick, and I really don't want to go back to doing it *whimper*. Sigh. Well. Here I go...
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